Adlynn's Adrenaline

i want more, ASOS

2011-12-14T16:37:00.000+08:00

my first purchase with ASOS. a bit delayed, but at least it reached me. i don't really make a big fuss about it eventhough i had re-email them to remind about my parcel.

i grabbed 2 tunics. one more dah takde kat website. yang ni cantik. another one tengok model pakai macam cantik (biasalah, model). bila dah dapat jadi macam tak cantik. nasib baik GBP10 je.

currently, ASOS is having their sales on shoes- should give myself a tight slap for clicking on their website tonight, while allowance is still not in yet! here are some that caught my eyes.

i think it's a trend for color-blocked shoes now. actually i have put this baby into my shopping bag. heeee...i think i'm gonna buy it, couldn't resist! but the heel is oh-not-so-sexy!

love this one, from Karen Millen. but i don't think that i will invest into GBP75 stilettos that i'm not gonna wear. at least, not at the moment. i have done once, not again!

girls will turn twice to look at your feet. i tried hard to be rational. i'm not gonna wear this to Midvalley or OU, of course! and no parties to attend at the moment.

i don't afford to buy French Sole, but this French Connection seems affordable. not to say that i NEED this flats but at times, there are certain places that not suitable for heels. i think i look ugly in flats, uhhh...i don't know. yeah, i'm clicking this into my shopping cart/bag right now. argghhh!! *always helpless*

initially i like this, but err...too dull and boring??

ok, sudah-sudah la tu cerita kasut. memang takkan habis sampai esok pagi pun. and hari-hari nak cerita pasal kasut pun takkan bosan.

like my guy friends said, perempuan kalau boleh semua kedai kasut pun nak masuk. semua kasut pun nak try. try, letak balik. try, letak balik. last-last, satu pun tak beli.

i just replied, 'standard la perempuan. itu normal. kitorang enjoy buat macam tu. it's fun!'. mungkin juga jawapan standard typical perempuan.

berani la branula

2011-12-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

actually dah lama dah nak insert kat diri sendiri tapi takut. of course la takut sakit, hurting myself. and i was a bit confuse, where should i poke?hands or feet? hari ni tak tau apasal tiba-tiba rasa berani sikit la...anyway, i'm scheduled for IV *something* today...
i decided to poke my feet. sebab i think it's easier and i could use both hands to manipulate. one hand to hold the branula and the other to pull the skin. tak sakit mana pun if you poke yourself. orang lain buat lagi sakit. i rasa sebab i pulled the skin tightly kot. mula- mula macam tak masuk, it went into soft tissues je, lepas tu i manipulate sikit, and there it goes...backflow of blood, pulled out the needle, flush, inject the drug, flush again, and pull out the branula. siap!

shopaholic going online

2011-12-01T02:19:00.000+08:00

heaven tak??! got it during big bad wolf aftermath sale last week. a bit worn out (this photo is deceiving), but for rm5, who cares? this is my yellow pages now. it comprises everything from top to toes, from babies to nannies. clothing, accessories, make ups, toiletries, and even households. online shopping anyone, i can be your yellow pages operator. promote la pulak..hiks!

time is myocardium!

2011-11-24T01:39:00.000+08:00

yesterday's call was horrible. it was initially ok, i just chilled out in my room having nasi goreng ayam while watching Tentang Dhia. The MA called me around 7.45pm to review an x-ray. nothing much, just a closed distal end of left radius and ulnar fracture. yeah, no big deal bout that. just pull and cast it.

it started when a malay uncle around 60+ yrs old came for chest pain. he was having the pain since 9am, but only presented at 8pm. sigh. the pain was typical for acute coronary syndrome (ACS). in addition to that, he had vomited around 4x on that day and having epigastric pain. typical for ACS as well. something was hiding actually. overlapping symptoms. yes, the ECG showed LBBB. i took it as a new LBBB. firstly, i don't have a baseline ECG to compare. secondly, the chest pain is typical. thirdly, this is the first episode of him having this kind of pain. in district hospital like KKB, we don't have Troponin T or even CKMB. just the unspecific CK. the most we have is cardiodetect kit, which detect the h-FABP and it's limited. so, the CK value was 2000+, sky high! and to my suprise, his RBS: 20.0 and urine ketone was 3+. remember, no ABG machine here. obviously he was in DKA as well. oh my!!things get complicated when his BP was persistently low. not more than 90/60mmHg, and i had to start him on IV Dobutamine. he gave me a real headache. cardiogenic shock secondary to acute myocardial infarction complicated with DKA. definitely i was unable to give him IV Streptokinase, considering his BP was low and he presented quite late. furthermore, the platelet was only 83 and INR was 1.5. forget about streptokinase. and suddenly my brain was numb. how the hell should i hydrate this DKA fellow??his heart is failing...i can't give so much fluid to him. i really don't know what to do. to hydrate or not to hydrate...(anyway, i had asked for second opinion regarding this). i only gave him crushed aspirin and GTN. he might be having some kind op sepsis on board which trigger the MI and DKA but i couldn't find the source of infection.

1 hour after that, around 9pm a lady came in brought by ambulance from GP. she have no past history of bronchial asthma. she had an acute breathlessness and left sided chest pain since 4pm. at the GP, her BP was 173/114mmHg and there was generalized rhonci. i don't have a slightest idea how the hell the GP treated her as acute exacerbation of bronchial asthma with uncontrolled hypertension. she was nebulized twice and T. Nifedipine 10mg and S/L GTN was given at the clinic. crazy!!i mean, with that high BP and generalized rhonci and crepts, she is having cardiac asthma, damn it! hurriedly, i asked the staff nurse to insert the urine catheter and shoot her with IV Frusemide. ECG was done subsequently- it's ST elevation. she's already in acute heart failure state. i thought my heart stopped beating for few seconds!! 2 myocardial infarctions at a moment.

God, it was a real palpitation. i never experienced this before. i mean, 2 MIs at a time and i was alone. just the MAs and staff nurse helping me. all decisions are all mine! it was really scary, knowing that time is myocardium! it's like i was having chest pain as well and if another MI came, it's gotta be me! i managed to give IV streptokinase to the lady, and thank god, no complications occurred.

obviously both patients needed CCU care. at that time, i knew it was quite difficult to get 2 CCU beds in same hospital. anyway, i just tried my luck. firstly, i called Hospital Serdang, unfortunately their beds are full. not to waste time, i tried HKL. the CCU MO oncall was very-very nice to me. she accepted the second patient, but for the first patient she asked me to give a try to IJN for rescue PCI. but i refused as IJN don't accept direct referral from district hospital. i had an idea maybe physician needs to assess the patient for suitability of rescue PCI. at last, she accepted both patients. alhamdulillah.

last thing i heard was the first patient (uncle) had collapsed in yellow zone at the referral centre. sad. i was sad that he couldn't make it. but i have gave him all out when he came to me. the best that i could do for him. the second patient, i hope she will survived.

do you know the feelings when you treat your patients sincerely, doing the best you can do for them with you limited resources, and in a weak voice they thank you....it's priceless! insyaAllah, you will get the barakah for every cents that you gain. this might be the once in a lifetime experience for me, and i really appreciate it and these 2 patients. i learned a lot from them, and from this experience, it helps me grow. wallahualam.

hati tisu

2011-11-20T14:30:00.000+08:00

my new vocab and i love saying it.....hiks hiks!

hati tisu!

someone has actually said that to me..first time dengar, macam comel. when another friend translate it into 'tissue liver', it sounds so ugly, disastrous! hati tisu can't be translated into other language ok. buruk bunyinya.

tapi sekarang dah tak hati tisu kot. maybe dah campur jadi hati batu.

so ungrateful

2011-11-15T00:05:00.000+08:00

i was called by my boss last Friday to his office, and he handed me a letter. i wasn't really sure to whom it was addressed to but definitely not directly to me. but anyway, i was directly involved in that matter. oh God, it's from a lawyer.

Boss told me, it's regarding a dengue shock syndrome patient that i referred to HTAR, Klang recently. Initially, i thought that something bad had happened to her, alas it was worse than that. if it is difficult to accept a dengue mortality, this is more difficult to be dealt with. an ungrateful, snobbish, arrogant human being!!no, i don't blame the patient (i can say she's a nice girl), i am blaming the parents/relative/asshole who did this!

this patient was admitted for dengue fever, Day 5 of illness. when i reviewed the next day, she was still in febrile phase, but tachycardic and bit hypotensive. but managed to give her fluid resus. Hematocrit were less than 35%, platelet in decreasing trend, but still more than 50, white cell in increasing trend. there was no warning sign.

however the next day, she developed symptoms. started to have epigastric pain and intermittent SOB. temperature just touched the baseline, tachycardic still and hypotensive. when i traced the FBC, hematocrit was 37.7%, but platelet dropped from 45 to 12. clinically, the epigastric was tender, but lungs are clear. i didn't wait any longer. while giving the fluid bolus, i made the phone calls.

initially, i referred her to Hospital Selayang. the patient was initially accepted but due to unavailable ICU beds, they couldn't accept her. So did Hospital Sg Buloh. you may think that it's very easy looking for ICU bed kan but trust me, i don't how i managed to sum it up in a line. haha! it's really time consuming, and it's not easy to get through the person that you need to talk to. sometimes, the operator just hentam connecting the lines which really shot my BP up!

it took me almost 3 hours to get the ICU bed, which i managed to get in HTAR, Klang. when we told the father that his daughter need to be sent to Klang, he asked for Selayang or Sg Buloh for logistic reason. we told him again that they are full, and our priority is to save his daughter's life. betul la kan? he looked satisfied with our explanation and went quiet. so unexpected when he threw us with the letter. maybe it's not him, maybe it's the kepochi relatives..but i don't give a damn!

i knew i did the right thing. nothing to worry about, nothing to lose from my side. i did no harm, and my intention was good. but when you threw shit to me, i couldn't stop myself to label you as ungrateful person. period.

buku tiga lima

2011-11-03T00:34:00.000+08:00

That is my wan's (grandma's) buku tiga lima. and those figures are what i gave her since i started working. not much, but but honestly, do you think that i saved up that much since 2 years back?

from now on, she's asking for rm20 extra..untuk beli makanan kucing and sayur katanya. but the rm20 won't be jotted in that buku tiga lima. at least, she's gonna spend it, no?

for october, she asked me to jot it down. she said that she's confused how to write figure 250 tu ikut rumah ratus, puluh & sa. comel!

tops

2011-10-03T23:25:00.000+08:00

my latest catch:

from Monsoon

but i feel like i want more...hee!!nude and white always caught my eyes. most of my tops are these colours. just recently i tried to add on colours into my closet.

batwing elastic waist blouse- Topshop

big sleeve blouse- Miss Selfridge

cream tassel caftan top- Miss Selfridge

cream twist front blouse- Miss Selfridge

fashion ursa blouse- Monsoon

nampak decent kan? i couldn't find it in the boutique. wanna get those online, but i'm really really worried if the size doesn't fit me well. my body is soooo......urghh!!like the one i've bought, it is UK10. but other tops, it's not UK10. this sizing, ermm i would say 80% not helping. the same goes for shoes, just slightly better. i only dare to buy bags and make-ups from the net.

ohh, i want those tops, badly!

image source: google

mood

2011-09-29T22:07:00.001+08:00

in the mood of editing and deleting...
of the insignificance...

french cafe @ french sole

2011-09-28T23:50:00.002+08:00

a new experience for me attending such event. it is the pop-up cafe by Chef Benoit in French Sole outlet in KLCC. this is the only French Sole outlet in Malaysia and even Asia (if i'm not misheard). located at Ramlee Mall, Suria KLCC it was opened since early July.

the reason why i was invited, i had bought 2 Anya Hindmarch handbags during their clearance sale few months back. yeah, it sounds crazy, buying 2 bags with same brand at one time, but i just couldn't resist the price they offered and plus, i have been eyeing on the Bilton bag (the one in the pic).

most of the collections are flats. the highest inches that you can get is only 1.5", the kitten heels. anyway, i didn't buy any. just browsing around trying the shoes. it's a bit pricey for a flat...oh well, it's a designer shoes. at the moment, i don't have any flats in my collection. come on, this is not a hint ok!

of new workplace

2011-09-13T02:45:00.002+08:00

salam aidilfitri...

i have no mood to write about puasa or hari raya. eventhough i feel like showing off those raya pics, but...ahh, forget about it. i prefer to juice out everything related to my career here. nak baca, baca la...

Hospital: so, it has been 7 weeks in HKKB. a small hospital with only 9 MOs nosing around. there are 2 male wards (multidisipline), 1 female ward (multidiscipline), 1 maternity ward, 1 paediatrics ward and 1 small 2nd class ward. i'm not sure the number of beds that we have but average patient is around 60 per hospital. i had once did ward round the whole hospital myself. ok, i shall not remember that day again...

Supporting staff: the hospital staffs here are much nicer than staffs in GH, i apologise...most probably because this is a small place (of course). they pay us a little more respect than in bigger hospital. as we passed by, they will greet us. tak ada yang kaki perli or refuse your order. eh, macam ada tapi usually kat labour room la. standard la kan..again, i apologise kalau ada yang terasa. i speak in general. when i was in Ipoh, some of them are really nice as well. kat sini agak kena berbaik dengan staff, sebab kadang-kadang dorang suka buat dajal jugak. e.g if the person-in-charge of card room doesn't like you, they will give complicated cases or wheelchair cases to your room.

On-call: there are 2 types of call. active and passive. active means we have to stay and jaga the hospital overnight. and need to jaga the hospital when other people going for lunch break as well. things can be challenging at times. what would you do when ada patient kat casualty need to be intubated and there is fetal distress in labour room?your heart can stop beating!!last week during lunch, i had 1 fetal distress and neonatal hypoglycaemia (Day4 of life baby) at the same time. anyway i prefer doing active call as we will get pm off the next day. passive call means we need to accompany ill-patient during transportation to bigger hospital. usually Hospital Selayang or Sungai Buloh but it can be as far as Klang or Serdang. i hate the ambulance ride so i memang menyampah la buat this call. memang la stand by kat rumah je tapi tak best la sebab i always anticipate calls from hospital. tak best kot macam tu...eh, tapi on-call room agak heaven la...spacious,air-conditioned, ada tv, makanan boleh order (even quite tasteless), ada air panas...=D

Patients: average patient around 250-300+ per day in OPD. kat sini patient kuat mengadu. this is what they told me when i first came here. mengadu like how? they told me sikit2 nak mengadu kat pengarah and pengarah will layan and we need to write explanation letter. i don't give a damn about this thing actually. as long as i do things right and i do no harm, they can go ahead to lodge a complaint. actually, i have received a complaint few weeks ago. a couple of husband and wife did a Hepatitis B and C screening in Hospital Selayang. both results were perfectly normal. just the anti-hep B titre were low. what do you expect??even during my time pun Hep B vaccination programme belum start, ni kan pulak zaman dorang. it was reported as 'PLEASE CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR FOR HEPATITIS B VACCINATION' so they expect us to shot them. we don't provide Hep B vaccination to adult like we do to children. oh, the wife came in first, husband was outside. so i explained to her what does the test showed and told her that it is optional to get the vaccination from the private. i repeat, we don't provide the vaccine for adult, unless indicated. this aunty terhangguk-hangguk macam faham, then keluar. when the husband came in, the first question was, 'Doctor, what is your name?' sambil tangan dia tulis nama i atas kertas. so i cursed this uncle dalam hati. he was so tak puas hati why i didn't give him the shot. at last dia tanya, "what is Hepatitis B". aku dah bengang, i answered "uncle pergi google internet". kalau dah berlagak macam pandai sangat tapi a general idea about the disease pun takde, kau boleh blah!! i was so damn pissed-off with the uncle. as expected, i received a call from pengarah the next day. so, i won (i guess). let say, if pengarah asked me to write explanation letter, i won't. full stop!i don't mind if they complaint for mismanagement, but not for rubbish!

one more thing, patient kat sini makan ubat macam makan nasi. i really couldn't understand. ubat darah tinggi, kencing manis and sakit jantung dah sebakul, lepas tu mintak entah apa-apa ubat lagi sampai satu prescription slip(PS) pun tak muat. i just feel like lasering, "makcik makan nasik ke makan ubat?"...sometimes, it's so annoying until i write on the PS: non-specific complaint dengan tulisan yang sangat buruk.

but i cherish patients who appreciate our job. like this one mak cik. today i had to stay back during lunch hour as too many patients had not been seen by us. this mak cik asked me " doktor tak pergi rehat ke?" terharu sekejap, maybe she could see the tense and tiredness in me. i just gave her a smile eventhough i knew it was so damn ugly.

colleague: there's one old fella who likes to bully me. he makes me stay in OPD (the place that i hate most), asked me to float here and there. bila cakap depan i, mulut manis...dah la management macam ape, intubate patient pun tak tau. kaki MIA. bosan la orang macam ni! he put me on-call 9 times for this month and my colleague who stays in quarters doing 10. those who stay far just buat 6-7 calls je. ppprftttt..... on-calls are not distributed evenly. just because some of them stay far like in Selayang/KL/ sungai buloh. i'm sorry but i find this kind of attitude so kurang ajar. it's not fair when you are not doing call because of this reason. nobody ask you to stay far away from your workplace. tunggu la lagi dua bulan, i will bring this matter to pengarah.

maybe early next year i'm gonna ask for transfer.

Back to on-call life

2011-08-20T13:55:00.002+08:00

My on-call bag..This time just a small one..=)

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Location:Hospital kkb

i saved a lot...

2011-07-26T18:36:00.002+08:00

being home, i could saved a lotttt...
i saved my time, my fuel and of course my MONEY!!!

my house is just 2-3mins from hospital..awesome! so, i can leave at 7.55am every morning...*evil laugh*
afternoon, i drive back for lunch, and go back at 2.10pm...owh, friday will be the awesomEST day!!hurrah!!

i spend around RM0-RM2 per day. itu pun kalau saya beli air. if not, nadaaa...

staying at parents, it's FOC!!no electricity or water supply bills...wahh! free internet...i only pay my mobile bills.

in KKB, no Starbucks or other expensive coffees, no fast food. i saved about ~rm100 for that. and tak payah susah payah fikir, hari ni nak makan ape, hari ni nak makan ape, hari ni nak makan ape. makan je apa yang ada. full stop!

okay, i think roughly i will save at least RM700...yeehaaa!!!

hospital wise, i can't comment much right now. too new to comment. but there's one thing, a BIG time sucks! there's no punch machine. they are using thumbprint! damn it!!!!

...akan rindu semua ini

2011-07-21T23:13:00.003+08:00

for once, i had a pleasure of driving at 40-50km/h. the right hand was holding the steering wheel while the other holding a cup of espresso frappucino. the espresso is essentially to help me burning the midnight oil tonight, like the other nights before. as i'm counting days to leave for hometown, i took a short tour along the route that i usually merayau-rayau. yeah, i sound melancholy tonight.

i'm going to miss a lot of things here, especially the food. of course, for a person who doesn't cook like me. i know almost all makan places here. and yet, everyday i'm complaining don't know what to eat. i'm going to miss my favourite tomyam at Vanggey, the ~25 pieces of prawns in the cheap Nasi Goreng Udang, the skinless satay in Pusat Makanan Tambun, delicious nasi lemak at mamak in Station 18, the best big plate western food at David's Diner and the scrumptious homemade cakes at Indulgence. these are my favourites. ok, no wonder i always whine. there are other places as well but not under my 'favourite' category.

i'm going to miss Siti and Raymond at Starbucks. their services are superb! they always know my favourite coffee before i change to espresso. usually whenever i went there, they will immediately ask me,' tall iced americano with hazelnut syrup and shepherd's pie?'..americano was my favourite because i don't drink milk. anyway, i just knew that espresso frap doesn't taste milk. wasted so much time limiting myself to americano! and the kind Raymond had told me that i'll get 10% off if i issued the J card. eventhough other baristas attended me, they will still call both of them for me. hmm, they are my favourite baristas. any contest for the best barista??for sure i will vote for them. anyway, i have got all the stamp for the complimentary Frap!yeay!!well, i cheated twice..hihi..

i'm going to miss my laundry auntie (oh, i don't really know her name!) at My Expert Garment. her laundry is the best though more expensive than others. she charges rm4 per kilo when others only charge rm2.50. but as a regular customer, she always discount the total sum for me. dah la friendly..my clothes never have the typical dryer smell after been washed, and it's oh-so-soft. i hate bau pengap baju yang masuk dryer. she's not like the other one. dah la tak ada change rm50 at the end of the day, and yet that lady asked me to pump in some petrol at nearby petrol station.

i'm going to miss clinic staffs in Station 18. i've been doing locum in that clinic for more than a year. they never be calculative with me, and easy to deal with. if not because of them, i wouldn't have the chance to spend lavishly for my monthly retail therapy.

being alone here has taught me how to be a survivor, since the first day i reached Ipoh. no friends-no family- no money-involved in accident with my 1-month old car. perfect!!and going anywhere alone or eating outside alone is not a big deal for me.

anti-climax: i'm not going to miss my left side neighbour but i know they are going to miss me. miss peeping me through their sliding door..prrfffttt!!

twist

2011-07-18T00:25:00.002+08:00

after had a talk with my specialist last friday, i changed my mind. he had outlined my future and i pictured it as the most perfect one, at least for now.

i'm gonna call JKN Selangor tomorrow, telling them to cancel the request that i had asked from them to place me in Serdang Hospital.

i wanna go home. for now. the rest, later. wallahua'lam.

sayonara..I'll miss Ipoh!

2011-07-11T20:11:00.002+08:00

alhamdulillah!! my first reaction was...shocked!!! ain't it supposed to be a bit later, like...after raya?and when i read through,....18 julai 2011 bla bla bla...owh, ok....whattt??!!!that's very soon!! by the end of this week, i'm leaving...say bye2 to Ipoh...

i was attending my patient at that time. selamba je tinggalkan patient kejap, layan surat dulu..haha!! actually, i don't expect the letter to come at this time. this is a very critical time for me. i'm just at 1 month of life in ophthal, so much to catch up, then i'm quite stressful with my exam that demands me to burn my midnight oil on daily basis. and ramadhan is coming...takkan nak berpindah-randah bulan puasa, melainkan kau tak puasa...and hari raya is coming after that, in which i have booked my raya leave. kalau kerja tempat baru takut tak beraya. adding on my headache, i just bought a Volk lens that cost me RM950..perghh!!sooo damn expensive eventhough i've got it at a promotional price. just imagine, if they send me to a place that i'm not gonna use my lens...tekanan!

ok, calm down. first, i need to settle those unsettled stuffs here.

Settled:
1. get a new house member to replace me
2. called my tailor: ok, baju raya boleh siap 1 month earlier.

to settle (according to priority kot!):
1. inform my boss tomorrow regarding my transfer
2. called JKN to appeal for my placement. i hope i will get hospital serdang.
3. called the clerk to confirm my annual leave balance. i think i still got 15days
4. to settle all the clerical things
5. start packing...ok, this is neverending work, damn!
6. cari lori angkut barang. i have no idea about this thing
7. weekend ni transfer Maya dulu

now, my stuffs are really giving me a headache. so many things have to naik lori.

1. one-door fridge
2. a cross trainer
3. coffee table
4. study table
5. 2 bookshelves (3-tiers)
6. queen-sized spring mattress
7. a 5-tiers clothes cabinet
8. 3 clothes hanger. (i won't dissemble it as those small particles can get lost)
9. japanese table (can try to fit in my car boot)

ok, doesn't look that scary, tapi those things like fridge, cross trainer and mattress are scary!

ahhhh, stressnya berpindah-randah di kala-kala exam di hujung korner!!!
ok, title tak kena. the content sounds so grumpy!

Journey to the core of the eye

2011-07-03T12:06:00.002+08:00

I learnt about this pair of eyes since many many years ago. Informally, when i was just a little toddler..when mom said, "show me your eyes.." *and finger pointing to the eye* or vice versa..

Then,move on labelling the body parts, including the eyes. Next, the basic functions of the eyes.

When i was secondary school, i still remember we learnt about vision and optics in form 2. I hate the lesson though, i mean i hate optics. With all those kanta cekung and kanta cembung, it confusing me. I remember this very well because my science teacher, Pn. Halimaton was very systematic and well-organized lady. She made everybody to stand up after greet her. Those who answered correctly allowed to sit. Who wanted tp stand for so long?i was one of the earliest who was allowed to sit down in her class.=)..and her notes are perfect!!i really proud of my science book at that time.

I learnt it in further detail when i was in form 5, i guess. Nothing much,but more to anatomy and physiology at school level. Those terms...gelemair (aqeous humor), gelemaca (vitreous humor),rods and cones etc..funny names,no?

Hey, let's finger count how many years already this eye lesson going on?

Futher details in pre-clinical yrs..anatomy was a real headache,physiology was addition of headache..pathology made it even worse..haha!what else?!

In clinical years, i learnt how to use the ophthalmoscope to view the fundus. And thank God, i wasn't a dumb at this. I found it quite easy and i could appreciate those funny things on the retina,better than some of my friends. Ok,berlagak sekejap..lol..Learning about diseases of the eyes made me realized something. Majority of us have 2 eyeballs, which are so small compared to other organs in our body, YET it potrays thousand pictures and diagnoses. Masya-Allah..thank you Allah for giving me opportunity to appreciate all these, which are not given to other people.

Now,things get more complicated. Being an eye MO in eye dept is not as easy/ lepak as people think. I need to read a lotttt until i don't know which one to read first. And i have to get used to the slit lamp, volk lens, B scan, gonioscopu lens and all sorts of equipments for assessment. and now, i'm getting stressed! Up to the extent i feel like crying, but something inside prevent the tears to flow down.

I have no choice but to go through. Insya-Allah, all the hard work will paid by Him one day. Just wait for that one sweet day..

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first day in eye department

2011-06-21T00:03:00.003+08:00

my first day is blur but heck, it's exciting! i'm learning new things. the last time i check patient's eyes (as it is supposed to be-with the right manner) was 3 1/2 years ago. quite long time ago, no? when i was a 4th year medical student, in ophthalmology posting. it was a minor posting though, a 3-weeks posting. so you can imagine what could i learn in 3-weeks time. at that time, i told my friend, 'i'm NOT going to do this in my life'. i even sold my ophthalmoscope to my junior with half price, which i bought for almost RM800. sigh!

ok, i take back my words.

anyway, back to my-first-day story. it went quite well for a beginner like me. they placed me in the ED in eye clinic. ED is something like casualty but pertaining to eye only. it's the busiest, zamn it! I don't know how to use the slit lamp (of course), so initially i just saw my new colleague doing it and learn to use it. being a new member of the club, not only you have to know the technical part, but you have to learn the clerical part as well.

Like:

- how to document your findings on the piece of paper that is soooo alien to me
- learn the abrreviation that only Mars people understand it
- prescriptions. previously just write T. (tablet), C. (capsule), IV (intravascular), IM (intramuscular). now, it starts with G. (gutte) and Oc. (aku pun tak tau but it means ointment)
- learn to prioritize patients..which one you need to see immediately and which one to see by appointments
- slit lamp. to do myself is not as easy as you see people doing it. more or less, i able to visualize the anterior chamber and cornea. attempted to use the lens to view the retina, but arrghhh, susahnya! looking forward to learning tonometry.

other comments..ophthal clinic is super damn busy. yeah, i know it's Monday but oh-my-god!!sampai bergaduh-gaduh dengan patient.

in the afternoon, dr. vivian asked me..'ainal...see how busy our clinic is..so are you still interested in ophthal?'
apa ni, soalan tak mencabar langsung...

oh, ya...an achievement!i managed to remove a foreign body on the cornea. a minute metal chip! it's simple, just use a needle to scrape it, yawh!!

just forgive myself la..

OK, maya needs my attention...ciao!

Ainal = MATA

2011-06-17T16:50:00.002+08:00

New day has come!

Starting my Medical officer (MO) life today. I only drove back to ipoh this morning..hee,so lazy to go back yesterday. Reached ipoh at 9.05am.

The letter was still with the clerk. That was the first thing done this morning. A bit of palpitation when i met the timbalan pengarah..to get the placement in only-God-knows which department i'm going to.

Him: so,are you interested in surgical-based?
Me: yes
Him: you want me to put you in surgery?
Me: no..i want to do ophthalmology..
(i like general surgery but it's not gonna be my future life)
Him: o&g?they are short of MOs..if you are interested,i can send you there.
Me: no...err,actually i'm awaiting for transfer..
Him: ke mana?
Me:selangor...
Him: the transfer won't be immediately.so, you are just temporarily be in eye..they need permanent MO..
Me: but i'm going to sit for basic science ophthalmology exam this august..
Him: you want ENT or radiology?they really short of MOs..radiology is suitable for lady..oncall tak teruk..

I shook my head quickly. ENT is ok but i don't want.radiology is no-no..

Me: i'm not interested.i want to proceed with eye.

Alhamdulillah...i've got what i want. Will start my 1st day on monday..pray for the best!!this weekend is for reading and revision..

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last day of housemanship~

2011-06-09T23:15:00.002+08:00

my last day of housemanship is just...awesome!!

that doesn't mean that i'm so excited and happy to become a medical officer (MO). it's not something to be proud of. becoming an MO means you have to be more in (almost) everything. you have to read more, see more patients, more responsibility, more active, more gaji but you cannot be a chipsmore! if you get what i mean..hihi.

i planned to get a decent lunch today. i told one of my colleague when we were in clinic. it ended up they didn't inform me they were going for lunch. a bit pissed off and sad, i went back home, had my lunch alone and a short nap. after pre-op round today, i made noise about that. ling and shiau wei said that there will be a suprise for me. the suprise is....

the farewell cake

ceh,this is not a surprise guys..i'm part of this plan!this is the famous and glorious butter cake by Nancy Chong. amrit was the man behind it. talking about this heavenly taste cake and makes us salivating, so no choice..we kept bugging him to get this cake. i thought he already forgot to get it or malas layan our crave. tak sangka pulak dia pergi belikan.yeay!!

bits of the last day of mine and amrit...

chilling out in SCU

from left to right: ooi, su ann, bala, wai kuan, shiau wei and yours truly

we care for your spine!

the bodyguards..hihi!

anyway, i'll stay in Ipoh GH while awaiting for my transfer which will be granted (insyaAllah) later, in few months. i wish i'll be placed in eye department eventhough i know the chance is slim. i hope Dr. V will send my name to the office, although she didn't promise it. if not, i 'have to' prefer the casualty life again. sigh!

i'll miss my housemanship. i went through it very well, enjoyed every postings that i have gone through, every sweet and sour of them...every ups and downs. i tried not to be melodramatic or sentimental here, but i'll miss you guys!

what's the story?

2011-05-11T02:44:00.003+08:00

I-HAVE-A-LOT-TO-BLOG!

A lot of stories to write (half-written it anyway!), pictures to share, emotions to express here. some of the stories, i have written them but some problems occur. the connection sucks!that's the main problem. able to upload the pictures, but it will be upside down in all position. have tried many times to make it right. sigh.

back to main problem. i'm using the Celcom broadband since 1 1/2 years ago. yes, people asking me why am i still using when i couldn't stop whining about it? most of the time, i am alone in my house in ipoh. and i spend most of the time in my bedroom only. so, i would say it is dangerous to let the streamyx technician to come and fix the line in my room. i'm not taking the risk. furthermore, i suppose i will no longer working in ipoh soon. and, the so-called tempting promises that celcom has made- widest coverage, fastest speed, best rates and service...urghh, vomit blood!!

i just ~~pissed off~~ don't understand what kind of service that Celcom providing me and other users. i swear almost everytime i surf the net. i'm paying RM68 per month and you provide a freakin' rubbish!!very poor connection as if i'm staying in a cave. how on earth can the connection in the centre of the Ipoh becomes like the connection in Gua Musang? thank you for the Celcom staff who gave me 1001 reasons why my connection is slow.

if i were the Celcom owner, it would be shameful putting up big banners and advertisements claiming that you provide the fastest speed, widest coverage, the best rates and service etc....YUCKS!!it's disgusting!! i know that you can easily said 'you-can-just-terminate-our-service-if-you-don't-like-it'.

thank you for robbing our money. thank you for cheating us. your service sucks ALL BIG TIME. anyway, i just knew by today that your so-called UNLIMITED service is actually limited to 5GB only. what a big fat liar?kenyang kot makan duit haram...

i'm going to terminate the service soon. i know i say this many times, just looking for my freetime to do it..

it isn't the heels that kills!!

2011-04-23T21:23:00.002+08:00

that's my slingback snowfly. look closer at the hook. it's broken again. Again- because it broke few weeks after i bought it. i sent back to metrojaya midvalley for repair and it took ages to come back to me. not again!for that,i think i deserves a new pair of heels, no?no kidding...you know why??

i wear heels to work. i don't like to wear covered shoes to work because i feel like my feet would be breathless and sweaty and suffocate in the shoes. in fact, i only have one pair of covered shoes, the one i bought for my graduation which now i lent it to my sis. i wore it only ONCE!

of course i got another pairs but it seems like almost all of them somehow rosak or cacat. have a look at these:

this is the 2nd pair that i bought. i considered this as my official footwear. it's very very comfy. that's the proof. habis berlubang and exposing the metal part. not to mention the sole!!ahahaha...i think i will buy the third pair soon.

this one is from Country Hide. never heard of it? me neither, until i spotted the store in Penang. still in very good condition but the right side terkopak already. couldn't find a cobbler yet. ok, lame excuse...will fix it soon.

this one is red. pure red! so, takkan hari-hari nak pakai pergi kerja. out!

new member in the family. just bought it two days ago. the auburn from Clarks. the display was size 3 and it fit perfectly on me! sad to say, that's the last pair. just closed one eye, i bought it regardless of display item. biarla...i guess not many people tried it. how many can fit into size 3?unless they never give up, nak muatkan jugak kat kaki tu..haha! owh, the red heels tu pun display item and the last piece, size 3 also. nampak sangat macam selalu takde rezeki.huh!

initially, it was sooo comfortable. lepas tu, sangat menyakitkan kaki. the height is not the issue..yeah, those heels are same in height, 4 inches...the front part is too narrow, which made my kaki tersepit. tersepit ok, kaki saya tak kembang. other parts, other issue..heeee...the first day i wore it, damn painful. nasib baik takde blisters eventhough i know sooner the callus will take place. today, it's still make my feet painful but i walk less, so tak sakit sangat. i'll be on call tomorrow, forget it; jangan harap nak pakai.

My workmanship

2011-04-02T18:55:00.002+08:00

I'm doing 5th call right now, which means tagging MO call. I've got the chance to hands-on today. Eventhough i don't like ortho, but i really enjoy handling the flesh, blood and bones. It's delicious!!!slurrppp!!!! Do i sound like a vampire, or more like a mad woman??'cun' vampire...lol!

It's easy to get the procedure done as my MO is someone who i had been working with previously. Back then when we were o&g housemen.

Initially i asked his permission to do incision and drainage (I&D). As i've done it before, which was a testicular abscess more than a year ago. and he let me do it. It is an abscess over the forearm. Easy peasy, so kacang...=p. Any of you guys who has abscess on your testis, you are welcome...hihu!!!

Just now, a nepalese guy came with crush injury over the 3rd and 4th finger of right hand. he asked me to do refashioning of those fingers. Heck, i don't know how to do it. At all! The tip of the fingers almost hancur. How on earth i could refashion it back!! And i never give wrist block and digital block before ( a nerve block so that patient wont feel the pain throughout the procedure). I just hentam giving the anaesthesia. Alhamdulillah, it worked well and my patient didnt feel any pain. However i need my MO help to remove the nail because i really dont know how to remove it. The rest, i did it. Eventhough a bit comot, i think that's okay. That's the best i could do. It will be better by time, surely.

Owh, that day when i did OT (operation theatre) call, my MO wanna give me opportunity to do Ray amputation. But i never observe it. so he really taught me how to do it. Yeah, maybe next time. I aim to do BKA(below knee amputation) before i finish my housemanship.

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klik!

2011-03-10T23:45:00.001+08:00

can i make a wish?err, wishlist to be exact...my first wishlist in 2011. before this ada jugak wish tapi tak sempat nak list, terus grab..=p.

i need a camera. yes, it's a need. i'm not a big fan of camera, what more a DSLR. i bought a camera only once in my life and that was during my 2nd year in university. it was a Sony digicam. now, i have no idea where i kept that camera...huhuhu...

to be frank, i don't have knowledge in this camera thingy. yeah, it can be learnt, but it's just not my interest.

i don't know what is a definition of a good camera and i don't speak camera language. to be frank, i don't have knowledge in this camera thingy. yeah, it can be learnt, but it's just not my interest. my dad forgot to pass the gene to me, i guess..=p

i don't have a specific camera or brand to buy until last few weeks when i jalan-jalan buang masa in ipoh parade, this baby really makes me going crazy and angau. it's CANON Powershot S95. remind you again, i don't speak camera language.

this is my language. design dia memang tak cantik. all blacks. not like sony yang sangat attractive. tapi gambar dia cantik. colour dia cantik and terang. it doesn't have a HD movie, but heck is that important?it's optical zoom just 3.8x, is it important?it's a good quality camera. damn it, my description is lousy!!!hahaha...do you think i deserve this camera when my comment is so cikai?

price? you can get cheaper online, of course. retail price is around rm1399-1599. you get cheaper when they are having promotion. i know that i don't have to rush for it. it's not urgent, anyway. tapi kalau hari-hari pun terangaukan camera ni, macam mana??!!!!

beli next week boleh??

Carpenter

2011-03-03T17:15:00.003+08:00

I'm currently in my last destination, orthopaedics. About 2 weeks of life. The coolest place for tagging. I was having fun during tagging. We're supposed to tag for One week, but i made it for 6 days. I think there's nothing wrong to off myself from tagging earlier. Make it simple. The objective of tagging is to familiarize us with our new working environment, to learn new things, see more ortho patients. Yes, they expect taggers to clerk cases and present it during pass over round next morning. But problems occur when there's too many people tagging. There are 7-10 of us tagged in a day. When we came at night, my friend and i just lepaking without doing anything. We gave the juniors to clerk more. Sounds bad? I don't think so. We've seen more than enough ortho patients when we were in casualty.

Furthermore, all ortho patients who are sent to the ward have been clerked in either casualty or clinic. They have listed down all the plans. So, what left for us? A clerk job without using my brain cells. I hate it!! So i didn't see the justification for me to tag. At least for me...

Ward work is not much here. Not many patients, most of them are waiting for op and post op. And most importantly, most of them are stable. Eh, silap...most importantly, too many housemen in the wards but heck, half of them not functioning. 6th posters are bullied by 1st/2nd posters. How on earth can i let that happen? Should get a punch from me, heh! Ok, at least there's some work for me to do. But i just can't tolerate when they just hanging around in the ward lepaking and chatting. Too bad, those lazy asses got it from me that day.

Yesterday they sent me to Operation theatre (OT). We got long OT and short OT. I was in the long ones. Literally, i didn't see the sun yesterday. I came to work at 6.45am. I only went out from OT at 8pm. Woohooo!! Freaking tired. But i feel soooo happy. Got a chance to assist an interesting case.

It seems that i 'stalked' this patient since i was in casualty. Haha. This chinese patient alleged motor vehicle accident few days before CNY and sustained a very bad open fracture of left tibia (grade IIIc). Initially when ortho team saw him in casualty, they decided to chop off the leg but patient refused. So he was put on external fixator but the skin on top is gone, exposing the flesh and bone. He was then complicated with upper gastrointestinal bleeding three times (bleeding from stomach). Laparotomy and underrunning of vessel was done. Poor old fella. We only managed to operate him yesterday.

Initially he was planned for ilizarov procedure, in which the purpose is to lengthen the bone. But we changed it to Taylor's spatial frame. Taylor's spatial frame is superior to ilizarov in terms the latter one only can lengthen the bone in one direction only. But, this taylor's using a sophisticated computer programme which it can calculate so that we can lengthen the bone and at the same time we can readjust the position of the leg so that it wont be malrotated. Cool!!

Anyway, that was the 4th case which made me went home at 8pm. We had to cancel the 5th as it's too late already. Thank god. If not i would have go back at 10pm..haha. I collapsed 2 hrs after that.=)

And today i had some fun in POP room in the morning. Yeay, saya dah pandai buat back slab and POP. POP is quite difficult because i suck in moulding the cast. Haha..and now i'm chilling out in ward waitin to go back home at 5pm sharp. Haha. Bad, right?

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dilemma

2011-02-14T03:02:00.002+08:00

i'm going to my last posting, insyaAllah this Thursday. final destination of my housemanship. i don't want to talk about my new department. it's about...what's next? my next destination. i'm still unsure regarding this.

i better tell about my long term plan first. at this moment, i want to do ophthalmology. yes, i'm currently preparing for the basic science examination in Ophthalmology which will be held in August (i'm still playing and fooling around anyway..*sigh*). low momentum, perhaps no momentum. anyway, at the moment i want to be an ophthalmologist and i hope i won't cross my mind anymore. initially i wanted to be a neurosurgeon and few months after that, i wanted to do O&G. until one day, a friend asked me..'hey, how many times you want to change?'

now, i'm in a big dilemma. where am i supposed to go after i completed my housemanship? i haven't decide yet but i have few options.

1) district hospital/ health clinic

before this, i have made up my mind that i want to go to district so that i will be more independent (chewah!). people may assume you will have a good life in district. yes, maybe..but i don't give a damn about the relaxing part. but the scary part, anything under the sun can come to you when you are on-call. just name it, everything is possible.

BUT..yes, there's a 'but' there...i will surely be in Perak. Houseman from Perak will never be sent out from Perak immediately after housemanship. you will stranded in district for at least 6 months (usually longer), provided if there is place in whatever department that you want to join later. usually, it's full. and you can't go to district if you want to chuck yourself out of Perak. will explain about this later.

i don't want to go to health clinic because i will freakin' nagging and blabbering to those stubborn and non-compliant patients with uncontrolled disease. that'll make me half-insane. and say NO to all sorts of meetings.

2) i want to be out of Perak

if that is your so-called intention, you better stay in Ipoh GH. be an MO in whatever department that is lack of MOs. usually, you will be in casualty. however, there's a big chance that you will be in O&G, which everyone is trying to avoid. they will change to nearest district hospital rather than staying in O&G. because you will tag there for almost 6 months. and tagging life is like hell!i know because my housemate is an O&G MO.

but my mom will like this idea because i will burn my stubborn fat like what happened when i was in O&G posting previously. i could fit every pants and tops of mine. but now, no more..sigh!

but this is the fastest lane if you want to be transferred to other state. yeah, around 3-4 months. anyway, what the freaking reason should i give to get transferred?? i'm not going to get married, so cannot give the reason "mengikut suami"..my parents are well at the moment. i just don't have any reason, it's just my mind say so. "get your hell out of this place!"...by the way, can i put there 'mencari calon suami'? hahahahaha....

3) stay in Ipoh as Ophthalmology MO

this is the hardest part. i need to see the ophthalmology HOD, telling her that i badly want to join the department. but then, i don't have the paper (BSE) yet. currently, the department is full. my chance is only like...0.001%. but if possible i don't want to stay in Perak.

my conclusion:

i want to be an Ophthalmology MO in Selangor/KL....

i know the chance is low. indeed, very low. it's like..'siapa kau untuk kau dapat semua yang kau nak'?

blank. i haven't really make a decision yet. anybody care to give your opinion, you are most welcome.

thank you.

Limau gedang

2011-02-07T22:10:00.002+08:00

Let's talk about limau gedang..if you never heard of it, it's grapefruit! I know grapefruit but i don't know the malay translation until i watched Kyle xy few years back, they were talking about grapefruit. And the translation showed "....limau gedang...". Ugly name, isn't it? Maybe because its 'gedang' size..hihi..It's a citrus,anyway..

They also mentioned about how terrible it taste, which made me say TAK NAK to grapefruit. Yes, i never tried it since then. Dah la pricey..harga always RM$ per piece..

Until few days ago a friend of mine posted something related on grapefruit on facebook and i replied his posts.

When it's something about losing weight thingy, i will get excited. Haha. So i bought the grapefruit today. Just 2 grapefruits, give a try first la..

Physically, it looks like a orange but in bigger size..doesn't look like a grape at all. Just wonder why they give such name. Even a blind knows..

Anyway, when you open it..ermm, i sliced it like an orange (is it the right way of doing it?). The colour is reddish-orange. It's pulp looks like pomelo, in smaller version.

Now it comes to the taste of it. The exciting part! When i first licked it, ok...it sour..i usually have no problem with sour things. Next, i ATE it.. No doubt, it terrible and horrible! At the end, your taste buds will detect a bitter taste. Damn bitter!! More like a pomelo taste. I hate anything bitter, except bittersweet chocolate. Hahaha..

Shouldn't give up..it's too early, right? Something good won't usually come in a complete package, i reckoned...=)

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girl's day out

2011-01-29T19:06:00.001+08:00

we were raised together in Asrama Toh Puan Norashikin, went to Assunta together, and together we excel. but, we separated when we were in form 4, after PMR examination when i was offered to science Muar, and she went up to the north, to MRSM Taiping. since then, we never met each other again until 2003, i bumped into her in Malacca Matriculation College. not long after that, she has got a great offer to do International Baccalaureate in Kolej Matrikulasi Banting, and then flew to Ireland to complete her 6 years course in Medicine. whereas, i was in UKM completing my MD. never see her again after that. she's now in her final year in Uni. College Dublin, going to finish very soon.

introducing my friend, Syude!

Anyway, thanks to Mark Zuckerberg. we never lost contact. frankly, we seldom contact each other as we are so busy with life-core-businesses. somehow, she sent me a message in the end of December saying that she is coming back to Malaysia for her brother's wedding and she's going to do her elective posting here. and yes, we are going to meet each other! she invited me to her brother's wedding but as a workaholic lady..ahemmm!!(NOT), i'm occupied with my daily routine and furthermore, i'm so isolated in Ipoh land and only could make it in mid January as i planned to come back to my parents'. of course when you were away from your country, once you come back, there's a lot of things that you need to settle and handle. i completely understood that her scheduled is pretty fully-occupied.

we planned to meet on Sunday in Midvalley. the decision to Midvalley were only made when i was halfway driving to KL without any specific place to go. hehe. i did invited other friend too, Raudzah to join us. At that time Syude was still at his uncle's house, had a kenduri tahlil there. i don't really mind if she was late, so i can creep from one store to another, browsing stuffs, y'know me...=)

someone hugged me from behind when i was walking across Dorothy Perkins to Miss Selfridge. haha, thank God it was her!!excited, of course. and speechless for 3 seconds!! she's a thin girl many years ago, and getting skinnier yes, the word is thin, not slim. how cruel and mean i am. haha. she said the she need to walk for 1 hour everyday from her house to hospital. oh, my...but i know, she's not dietting..hiks!

and not long after that, Raudzah arrived. chit chat of beautiful ladies started!! where? i treated them at Haagen Dasz. we were having Fondue, and it was like heaven!! Heaven meal and chit-chatting, pulling back the old memories and keeping up with new stories..it's just HEAVEN!!

yummylicious Fondue!!

fruits, ice-creams, cake and biscuits =Fondue

after Asar prayer, hunger lingering in (of course Fondue in not considered a meal). so, we had our early dinner at Tony Romas. Cerita dan terus bercerita. excitement was overwhelming us. believe it or not, i didn't shop!!except, i bought my grandma a handbag for her birthday. lain-lain, i only spent for makan.

Raudzah- Syude- Me at Tony Roma's

i sent Syude back to Sungai Buloh and terus solat Maghrib. lepas tu sesat.haha.. yela, i'm not familiar with sungai buloh route. reached home at 10pm. opps!!

hey girls!!yes, both of you...you guys really made my day!!XOXO

Let's do some repair!

2011-01-25T21:33:00.002+08:00

Just bought it 3 days ago..me applying it religiously day and night. Like it very much!! Just hoping that it will do some repair on my face..=)

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when it ain't medical textbook

2011-01-13T22:30:00.002+08:00

sometimes...or to be exact, most of the time this is my snacks when I'm not taking the main meal course!
these are my quick picks at MPH this afternoon. usually i will think twice or flip-flip-flip it before buying, but it happened within seconds. grabbed it and walked straight to the counter.

anyway, i haven't watch eat,pray,love yet. neither the shopaholic abroad. ok, read first!

i've been tagged!

2010-12-18T10:56:00.002+08:00

i've been tagged by my friend, who is my schoolmate. quite sometimes ago. but my usual excuse: malas, no mood, no time, bla..bla..bla..lame excuses, aite? now, i got time because i'm waiting for this superslow celcom updating my iPhone. already got pissed off just now..grrr...

here it goes:

"Once you have been tagged,you are suppose to write a note, with 25 random thing, fact, habits or goal about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tag you, it's because I want to know more about you. Your cooperation is highly appreciated.

when i was a toddler, i cut my fringe until it was very-very short. my mom would put me on hat everytime i went outside. i embarassed her. haha.
i was involved in accident when i was 6 years old, few days before hari raya puasa. i got my gum cut and received 6 stitches. admitted for 1 day in HKL. few days after that saya tergolek2 dari tingkat atas rumah wan chik saya. reasonnya, main hantu-hantu and i was the hantu.*malu*
i think my first thing that i remember in my life was the day that my sister was born. i followed my dad to the market, balik rumah tiba2 dah ada baby.
i was a story-teller ok...was so active in story telling competition when i was in primary
i never go to kindergarten. because when i was 5 or 6, i was able to read. my mom afraid i would get bored if i went to kindergarten. ermm, which i don't think so. i would have fun there rite?!
i am currently 25 years old. i have spent more than half of it in hostel.
i cried a lot bila masuk hostel masa form 1. at that time, my mom was pregnant. i made her came twice a week to visit me. bila masuk sains muar masa form 4, the same thing happened. but my mom didn't come la. but i cried a lot. after that, i aint cry no more in uni and housemanship.
i love beading. i have a few baju kurung that i sew beads on it. i started it when i was in uni.
i got the first place in drawing competition when i was 7 years old. the title was 'cita-citaku'. i drew a picture like where i stand now. Ameen.
when i was small, i hate blood and dentist. pernah terkencing atas my dad on the dentist chair!
i don't hate dentist anymore. in fact, i wore braces when i was in form 2. it was a trend in my school at that time. i used green and purple rubber.
i was the headgirl back then in primary. now, i think i have lost my teamleader skills.
i started to gain weight when my mom left to further her study. i stay with my grandma, dan saya dia selalu suap saya time makan.
i love purple colour. everyone in my family knows that. but most of my tops are white.
just give me a novel, i will stay still like a good girl. when i was a kid, i opened a storybook when i got up. now, i open my lappy first..=p
my best cooking skill is spaghetti bolognaise.
my name is ainal adlin and i'm a shopaholic...*clap hand and say,'hi ainal'*
i got uncountable tudung and scarf in my collection. some of the i never wear or just wore once.
my mom told me, before i was born, she wanted to name me 'ainal marmar'. Marmar is her favourite character in a tv drama. urghh!!!ugly name..luckily my name is not 'marmar'...
i love tomyam!!no explanation..
i was talented in public speaking once upon a time. i've lost the talent now. umm, maybe it's hiding.
driving is my passion. speeding is my speciality!!
i fell in love once. and to restart it, i feel like retarded.
my parents are quite strict in certain things. i only got my handphone when i passed my secondary school (itu pun ambik handphone lama my dad). and i only got my car after i passed my uni.
i'm still planning for my future undertakings. no absolute plan yet.

few facts about me. now, i tag:

1) cik fiza
2) others, tag yourself. you are welcome.

medical standby for mobile clinic 1 malaysia

2010-12-17T01:49:00.002+08:00

i was on leave last thursday..

initially i had a plan to have a short trip to Cameron Highlands, to spend a night there..solo trip. imagining myself having a cup of fresh tea and reading novel by the tea plantation. oh, how awesome!! maybe you will think that my life is kind of boring or like a loser but heck, i found some peace when i'm alone. ermm, kind of used to go everywhere alone currently and i don't really mind about it. plan is just a plan....

however suddenly boss came out with an order. there would be medical team standby for the opening ceremony for Mobile Clinic 1 Malaysia, which would be graced by our PM. it would be held at Pos Raya (an Orang Asli village on the way to Cameron highlands). as only me and Anis were ~~free~~ off on thursday and that made only 13 housemen left in the department, so we had to standby. i couldn't say no. which means i have to cancel my trip to Cameron. heh, that is1/4 trip to Cameron. lol!

initially boss offered us to join the bicycle squad. whoa, sounds exciting ya!!we're sooo excited. start thinking to go for shopping after work to get the proper attire, shoes and bla..bla..bla.. he brought us to the place where the bikes are stored and asked us to try the bike. to see whether our feet could 'sampai' or not. haha. then he teased us that the cycling outfit is too baggy for us. telling other specialist and MAs about that. great jokes boss!!haha!!

later in the day, he didn't allow us to ride the bicycle. we would be standby in the tent only. tsk..tsk...no fun staying in the tent! reasonwise, he claimed that the road is rocky and he didn't want us to fall. oh, how concern! The MA in-charge ask us to come 6am..oh, my...6am is a big issue for me!!

so, these 2 innocent girls came at 6am sharp next morning. my goodness, i woke up at 5.15am on my off day!!! God bless me...

hey, we were the earliest! the best part, we only left for Pos Raya at 7.30am. grrrrrr....could have wake up at 7am. it was a rainy day though. we stopped for breakfast at a stall in Simpang Pulai. i just had a very small portion of fried meehoon. me and anis already stuffed ourselves nasi lemak while waiting for the van. who ask us to come so early till we've got nothing to do but eat and eat

we arrived quite early at 9am. the ceremony was scheduled at 10am but it was raining cats and dogs. i thought it's just a small event. not that i knew that it was national level ceremony. haha. so many people coming despite a bad weather.

our duty is jalan- jalan makan angin je. no, come back to reality. we are the first haelthcare line in case the VVIPs collapse, or having asthmatic attak, or fell down due to slippery road or whatsoever health problem they are having, except having chicken pox. haha. in a single word, we do resuscitation.

our tent was completely equipped including a portable ventilator. the tent is huge, man! an RM5000 tent, what do you expect?

it's huge!!boleh berumahtangga dalam ni..


inside view

the resus kit. sakit mata!!

our dear PM and wife only arrived at almost 12noon. hai, sabar jela. we were doing nothing there. waiting and waiting and waiting. yawning and yawning and yawning. i yawned more than 10 times. haisy... saya terjenguk-jenguk jugak dari tent masa dia sampai sebab crowd terlalu ramai. tak nampak rosmah pun (get what i mean?). i thought he was in hurry. he went back right after launching it which was before 12.30pm. A 'yay' for us. Our job finished!!easy peasy job right?!

Fast fact

this mobile clinic will deliver a free health service in remote areas in malaysia and it's well equipped with medical facilities. forgot to mention, this mobile clinic is a bus. too bad, i didn't have a chance to hop into the bus.

mobile clinic 1 malaysia

anyway, that's all our nothingness job of the day. VVIPs are all in good condition. medical standby is meant for ONLY IF...

last but not least:

with bicycle squad and our macho boss

sisterly love~

2010-11-29T01:06:00.002+08:00

my only sister will be starting her internship in Kerteh very soon. she was hoping that i could send her there, but alas i couldn't make it. so, i paid her a visit today in UTP as i'm not working today.

i brought two sets of Burger King for our lunch. french chicken for her, and whopper black pepper for me. we had it at the gazebo by the lakeside, spending our time together. we had a chat, a laughter, wishlisting and sesi mengumpat too..=p. no tears.

tracing back our memory lane, we were not as close as we are now when we were kids. we fought almost all the time. cat and dog!!i'm the cat and she's the d**...hahaha!! when i was 7 or 8 yrs old, we fought until i said to my mom, 'kan bagus kalau umi tak lahirkan dia'...so mean!!!i know, this mouth was bad. sorry sis, i never tell u this. i take my words back. you're the most wonderful sister in the world ok!!

at another time, both of us konon-konon wanted to join a coloring contest. i'm good in arts and this budak, tangan dia macam kayu. hahaha..can't remember exactly what happened, but we were arguing until she threw a cushion to me. at that time, i was coloring something red. cushion memang kena tepat pada pencil color tu, maka terus terconteng part langit dengan kaler merah. memang waddaheck la!!minah ni terus kena debik atas belakang dengan papa...huahuahua...kesian!!i forgive u for that, sis..=)

a lot more things happened between us. i was bad, she was bad too. but when we grew up, people say that we are xeroxed! we don't think so. some say that we are twins. nahh....and most people say that she is the kakak. hmm, i think it's true.hehehe...

whoever she is, she is the most wonderful sister in the world of mine. don't care how bad we are arguing or how much we hurt each other, she is my beloved sister. i cried like crazy when she went to ~~makan angin~~ study in Canada 4 years ago. i won't cry for you la this time. looking forward to visit you in february in terengganu. i can start imagine the island and snorkelling and beach and ~~shopping~~ and bla..bla..bla...

gonna miss u baby!!have a safe journey with your new ride...=)

*kau suka tak special entry untuk kau nih?*

the night before aidiladha~

2010-11-18T22:05:00.002+08:00

salam aidiladha.

i worked on the raya night. alahai, macam la kau sorang yang kena kerja hari raya kan?ok, it's not that i 'kena' kerja, but i chose to work on the night before raya so that i could get an extra leave. smart, huh?

i worked in red zone again. yeah, i only have fun when i work in red zone. i missed the assaulted case...alaa...what left for me was only pemandangan darah and linen yang bertaburan kat lantai.aiyaa!!tutup mulut!

not much interesting drama la that night. hurmm, i didn't mean no case like that day..cases never stop coming actually.

cuma yang sedih, it's about a 4 year old girl who had lost both her parents and 2 siblings in an accident. the girl was sent to us because she was complaining of abdominal pain, so need to rule out intraabdominal injury.

the family was on the way back to their hometown, when they were hit by a chemical lorry from rear. yang selamat just her and her 8 years old brother. sedih sangat tengok. she sustained burn injury over her back (just left a small patch of intact skin) and left arm. sikit pun dia tak menangis. just merengek sikit2 bila perut dia sakit. she's a very good girl indeed.

the next day, i was supposed to be there until 10am at least in green zone, tapi saya cabut awal. ala, green zone takde banyak patient pagi2, and my MO gave a green light..=). so, balik rumah jap for refreshment and pakai baju raya yang ditempah mahal!*tercekik kejap*. bertolak balik rumah at 9.07am and sampai rumah at 10.45am. i drove non stop ok. takut nak stop sebab 11am is the peak time GCS saya akan drop. i didn't speed through the whole journey ok!!

bercuti beberapa hari.....

gotcha call for the ambulance~

2010-11-11T22:52:00.002+08:00

salam. hye.

drama usually happens if i was doing red zone shift. no matter am, pm or night shift.
today morning i was in red zone.

it was about 2pm when an MA asked one of us to follow the ambulance. they had received a call asking us to confirm a death. so, i followed as that was my first time and to confirm death is an easy task. hihi.

initially, we stopped at a Toyota showroom in Jalan Lahat, Ipoh. of course, a toyota showroom never boggling in my mind. heck got people died there eventhough it's possible. but very unlikely..rupa-rupanya ada sorang apek ni tunggu dengan motor kat situ, so he guided us the way to the scene.

it was a chinese food stall in a chinese regrouping area. everybody was looking at us when we arrived. as if we are aliens. oh my....this is my first time.

"where's the patient?" i mumbled to the MA (medical assisstant).

i was looking around, expecting a body lying on the floor or in a so-called house at the back of the stall.

"siniiii..." the hawkers shouted.

OMG!!! my jaw almost dropped. a middle-aged lady sitting on a chair, unconscious with the head on the table. there's food particles with saliva drooling out of her mouth. with bowel incontinence too. i could see there's pulsation over the neck. within miliseconds, my gut said that this woman was still alive. i auscultated her chest to confirm. the MA took her pulse and blood pressure (BP). her limbs were slightly moving. haha. gotcha!!!

SHE'S ALIVE!!!!

but not responsive. GCS was about E1 V2 M2. i need to act fast as everybody was looking at us.

i managed to get some information from the witnesses. they claimed that this woman was eating then suddenly became unconscious. i made a quick diagnosis. seizures or choking. i chose the first one as patient had passed motion, she's not cyanosed (blue) and oxygen saturation was 98%. on further questioning, they claimed there were jerky movement before she collapsed. they thought she had died.

oh, my...i thought it's just a simple death confirmation but things get complicated. we brought her into the ambulance for resuscitation.

damn it! susahnya nak buat kerja dalam ambulance. sempit gila and panas! we prepared patient for intubation. BP was low. i managed to insert a large bore branula and run fast Hartmann's saline while waiting them to prepare the intubation kit. initially i was asked (thru the walkie talkie) to use laryngeal mask airway (LMA) to protect the airway but i wasn't really sure how to insert it. i learned it 3 years ago. no doubt i have forgotten.*slapped head*

so, i just prepare the ETT. at the moment i placed the laryngoscope into the mouth, i saw food particles inside (soo disgusting, y'know) and suddenly the patient started chewing the food. arrgghhh!!!!what the hell is going on???my goodness,suddenly this fellow able to chew.

so, i cancelled to intubate as suddenly GCS improved to 13/15. i just gave the oxygen and run the fluid.

my point of view: manusia yang ada kat stall tu memang tak boleh harap! they just care about their bloody stomach. nobody actually help the patient. at least, tolong la baringkan patient tu. eventhough how stupid you are, i believe none of them live in a cave. when a victim is unconscious, you will look for any sign of life, right? like checking the pulse or hear the breathing.it's impossible you don't know a basic living skill. jangan la terus jump to a conclusion that the victim has died, and happily ask us to confirm the death. kalau aku jadi the victim, aku tampar siapa yang suruh confirm death tu.

i wish i could captured a picture to show you how bad the situation was. patient's head was on table, customers enjoyed their meals and hawkers were busy cooking. nobody cares about a human being lying there. too bad i was on duty.

anyway, patient safely arrived to hospital. i couldn't believe that i was not panic-stricken at that time. managed to handle my team to save the patient. managed to think to intubate the patient. managed to think to give fluid resuscitation to the patient. and managed to make a very quick diagnosis.

my confidence level improved and this is what i aiming for in my career.

mak patient yang mengamuk~

2010-11-06T17:08:00.002+08:00

hye.

something happened when i was doing night shift in red zone 2 days ago. it was the deepavali night. so of course i expected many cases will come, especially MVA (motor vehicle accident). but it didn't happen. which means i was quite free.

so i went to green zone to help out as there are so many patients there waiting to be seen by doctors. oh ya, only 1 MO in charge of green zone, there were 1 stack of cards yet to be settled.

it happened when my MO called this 7years old kid to come in, but after waited for few minutes, he called another patient as this kid never came in. suddenly i saw 1 girl with her mum at one corner. assuming that was the patient that were called by my MO, i decided to see her. why not...

out of sudden, the girl vomited right in front me, and right there and then the mommy outburst her anger to me. i still can recalled what she yelled with people watching us.

"doctor, see what happened to my daughter!! dah lama i tunggu kat luar tu. dah banyak kali dia muntah. you all kat sini memang lembab la. your system is very slow. you all are very slow. you all banyak berborak je. kalau jadi apa2 kat anak i macam mana? kalau anak i mati macam mana? kalau i tau la macam ni punya slow, baik i bawak pergi private je..." and she kept on babbling there and called her husband to come in.

"tengok, anak u dah muntah. dia orang ni semua lembab. dia nak budak ni MAMPOS agaknya. i nak buat report. i nak complaint you all tak treat anak i. abang, you ambik nama doctor ni, ambik nama dua2 sekali." husband pun terangguk-angguk je kat situ sambil memorizing my name.

we planned to admit her daughter in our observation ward for monitoring as we thought she didn't require admission. strictly not requiring admission. she refused.

"kalau masuk wad tu, berapa lama lagi nak kena tunggu. i tak nak. i nak bawak dia balik."

ok, fine. discharge AOR (at own risk) la. as i expected, she never thank me. fine.

throughout the 'drama', i just kept my mouth silent. in the end, i just say " ok, reportla..." (in a monotonous voice..haha)

i didn't want to answer back in front of her not because i'm scared. i have too many words to vomit to her actually. but as a professional, it's not wise to do that. it would just put me at the same level with her. no way!

ok madam, whatever your name is. if you are reading this, i'm glad.

it's so embarassing to act like that. nama je orang melayu, tak de budi bahasa langsung. so kurang ajar, kurang adab sopan. memang menjijikkan. i'm not in charge of green zone, but i'm just helping out my colleague. i know u didn't know that, it's ok.

yang kau berlagak nak mengamuk2 tu apasal?nak bawak private? go ahead. memang lama kalau tunggu kat government hospital. sebab ape? sebab bukan anak kau sorang yang sakit. so, first come first serve basis, unless your daughter is sent to red or yellow zone.

actually kad anak kau ada kat bilik locum. it happened that too many patients in locum room, so they send her card to our zone. which means anak kau sebenarnya tak layak masuk green zone pun. faham?

mak jenis ape boleh cakap perkataan MAMPOS dekat anak sendiri. hey, she's your daughter ok. mengucap sikit.

jgn nak lebih2 cakap aku tak buat kerja, asyik berborak. kau ada nampak aku free goyang kaki sambil baca news/ main sms/ minum coffee. so, you watchout.

kau nak report? go ahead, like what i said to you. even kau nak report kat menteri kesihatan pun aku tak kisah. report la. but if i saw my name anywhere in the media mass, you will clean the mess. bukan banyak pun aku mintak. don't mess up with me. that's all.

aku tak marah pun. just sakit hati tengok orang melayu yang perangai bodoh sombong macam ni.

and melayu memang susah nak cakap thank you or terima kasih.
memalukan betul.

difficult intubation

2010-10-28T16:36:00.005+08:00

hye!

i'm in casualty posting currently. my 5th posting. time flies so fast ya.

this is my 2nd week in casualty. here, we work in shift basis; am, pm and night shift. and we got 1 day off every week. cool! ok it's not cool, it's boring. no on-call for this posting.

i was doing pm shift yesterday in yellow-mellow zone. no lah, i add the mellow myself. hehe. we had many rounds. initially with specialist, then round again with HOD (head of department). somehow there's a patient in red zone having stridor. so, for airway protection we had to intubate the patient.

before intubation, we have to give etomidate for induction and rocuronium to relax the muscles. and we need to oxygenate the patient by manual bagging before intubating as during intubation oxygen saturation will drop. i was the one standing at the patient's head, sealing the oxygen mask to the patient's face. i don't want to bag the patient. cheating!

...and boss asked me to intubate the patient. and yes, in front of him. ok, i intubated before but not in front of boss, of course. to intubate patient in front of boss really challenge my nerves.ok.

acting like those in Grey's anatomy. hehe.

medication given.
saturation 100%.
laryngoscope ready.
ETT ready.
suction ready.

bismillah...(remember, boss is watching..=p)

"errr....i couldn't see the vocal cord..." i was struggling to visualize the vocal cord. suction done, bloody secretion. not that i was rough, the blood was there at the moment i placed my laryngoscope.

"your technique is wrong..." boss came to me and helping me to pull the laryngoscope in a correct way.

"relax.." i thought he knew that i'm nervous.

'hey, i think i pull it correctly. i'm very sure that i can't see the vocal cord. and i'm trying to relax.'

"hmm, i still couldn't see la..."

then he asked my MO (medical officer) to intubate the patient. it happened that my MO also couldn't see the vocal cord. she attempted three times.

at last, boss intubated the patient using a hi-fi laryngoscope. the one which has a fibre-optic camera to visualize the vocal cord directly. whoa, tak aci. if he gave me that thing to intubate, i also can do that. haha.

i'm proud of myself eventhough i failed to intubate the patient. it was a clear difficult intubation. i didn't pretend as if i saw the vocal cord and slide the ETT into the oesophagus, which is more embarassing. i did the right thing. if you couldn't see or don't know something, just tell the truth rather than berlagak pandai.

*smile*

the skin story

2010-10-27T13:18:00.006+08:00

i never have a flawless, glowing skin.
i'm an atopy child, eventhough i'm not asthmatic. hrmm, how can an atopic child has a flawless skin. it never happens.

my face too, easily become hyperpigmented after the bad acne attacks. eventhough i didn't touch my pimple, it will still leave the horrible scar. it's not scar anyway, the right term is post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation (PIH).

when i was in O&G posting (so-called the most stressful posting..=P), i met Kai Voon. her face was full with red cherry pimples. and i met her again in Surgery posting. guess what?!all the pimples gone and her skin is so glowing and flawless. i ask her secret. she doesn't mind at all sharing her secret with me. very nice girl, she is!

so, in June (if i'm not mistaken) i ask my mom to accompany me to Nathan Laser and Skin Centre. it was quite late, about 12 something in noon and i just walk-in. no appointment. haha. nasib baik dia layan. as i wish, Dr Nathan himself was working that day. he assessed my skin head to toe. tell you again, head to toe. no exception!
although i told him that my concern regarding the scars on the face.

and he gave me these regime. opss, with a note listing all the pantang-larang too. no consultation fee for me. yay!!

my face before treatment. without make up, at all. abaikan mata yang tiba2 jadi juling.hee...

my face (taken 2 days ago). no make up, at all. eventhough still not flawless and glowing, for me it's a great improvement.

you want to know the pantang-larang?here it goes:

- can only wear baby powder on the face. no foundation. no compact powder.
- strictly no facial.
- no mosturizer.
- avoid sun.
- if i have a function to attend, can only wear light make up. oil free- based: CLINIQUE.

and ntah ape-ape lagi. tak ingat.

and being me, i defaulted treatment. i only follow his rules for 3 months. after that my fingers get sooo itchy to put back my face on make-ups. haha. hey, i seldom put make-up la, only if i go out for a BIG shopping spree. hihi.

recently, hands become itchy again (always become itchy..haha!). always want to buy things that is not so necessary. that day i bought Kinohimitsu Collagen drink. konon want to activate and produce more collagen so that the scars can disappear faster. it tastes good, grapes flavour. RM89.90 for 6 bottles. so expensive, right?

i also tried Yerba Mate face lotion by Kiehl's (i use the sample sachet). my favourite brand. it's an oil free. forget about Dr Nathan's rules. hehe. i think it works good on my skin. the sales assistant said it functions to even the skin tone which i found quite true. RM150. gonna get it when i go back to KL.

what's important is discipline....errr, discipline? u think i'm disciplined enough??
*shake head*

eid 2010

2010-09-13T22:24:00.008+08:00

salam aidilfitri...

raya tahun ni tak banyak beza dengan raya tahun lepas. i managed to go back home 2 days before raya. tiba2 dapat tau baju raya tak siap. expected, tapi takde la sampai tahap the first day raya punya baju pun tak siap. sakit hati, sebab kain tu hantar sejak june lagi. apekah??mungkin aku patut hantar lepas raya tahun lepas. mesti la bengang kan.

usually, we are totally prohibited to go jalan2 shopping 1 day before raya. yela, banyak benda kena buat kat rumah tu. but then, pasal benda ni my parents had asked me n my sis to get our baju raya segera in KL. i didn't really keen for that. sebab saya pernah sekali je beli baju ready made. sebab sure ada cacat cela, terkurang terlebih nanti. biasala, saiz tak standard. and i got rm200 from my parents to buy the baju raya. sakit hati lagi, tak pasal2 dorang kena keluarkan duit pasal baju tak siap tu. and buang masa aku jugak kena bersesak2 kat KL.

first, cari kat semua house. ada berkenan kat satu baju kurung cotton. tapi rm400. hukhuk...masalahnya, aku tak berkenan kat mak nyah salesgirl/man kat butik tu. berlagak! then ada lagi jumpa sepasang baju kurung moden kat euro moda. quite simple with sikit manik2. rm1150!!!forget about it. last2 beli kebaya kat sogo je. terasa macam membazir when i spent rm300+ for that baju. mungkin tak sampai 10 kali aku akan pakai baju tu.

okay.

first day raya. saya tak pergi solat aidilfitri. keuzuran...hukhuk..after that macam biasa la,kami bermaaf-maafan dalam keluarga kecil saya. seperti biasa, saya still dapat angpow from my wan, umi and papa. tak tau la sampai bila akan dapat angpow..=p.
yang pasti, ni tahun kedua saya memberi angpow. bergambar di lokasi yang serupa dalam rumah setiap tahun adalah perkara biasa. tiba-tiba saya ajak membuat sesuatu yang bukan normal.

jom kita ambik gambar outdoor!!

haha. so we went to the dam for photoshoot session. that place has such a nice view for photoshooting. nak buat untuk wedding photoshoot pun cantik. ok,cut the crap. tapi terasa macam sengal sikit la sebab kitorang je muslim yang beraya kat dam tu. so sad, takde kampung.huhu.....

muka sedih takde kampung...

petang, macam biasa sedara mara from kl datang, menganggap rumah saya as kampung dorang pulak. dan saya tido. konon letih. padahal bosan.

next day, it's a hoorah!!balik kampung kat kuala lipis. papa and umi bercouple kat satu kereta, the rest naik kereta saya. we took the fraser's hill-gap route. sumpah, aku takkan drive ikut situ lagi. macam siput, bawak 40km/h. masya-Allah, jalan macam ular kena tendang. tangan jadi cramp.haih. i thought amik masa 2jam je untuk sampai kuala lipis, melebih-lebih nampaknya.

sampai kampung, my sister and brother jadi jakun. ye, saya pun jadi jakun, tapi tak sejakun dorang. the last time i went balik kampung was 4-5 years ago. sampai je, budak2 ni terus pergi memancing. maaf, itu bukan minat saya. lagipun, dorang tak berjaya dapat ikan. haha, buang masa. saya lebih berminat memakan buah manggis sampai habis sebesen. lagi best petik buah-buahan daripada memancing yang sangat mengantukkan tu. i plucked buah rambai (kau kenal ke?), duku, langsat and manggis. best gilerr!! lepas tu lepak atas massage chair Gintell yang ntah berapa round massage saya. hahahaa...

cut it short, sampai rumah pukul 10 malam. ok, puas hati. hari seterusnya, tak tak beraya dah. lepak rumah je. no activity.

sekarang, kita kerja k...

a glance of Ramadhan in a view of Queen of Lame~

2010-09-08T00:45:00.006+08:00

pheww!!

no entry for more than 1 month.

no stories. lame excuse.
no mood. super lame excuse.
no time. ultimate lame excuse.

ok, i'm lame.

ramadhan is leaving us. i guess my ramadhan this year is slightly better than last year. last year i didn't have a chance to perform solat tarawikh at all. at that time, i was just started my housemanship in O&G posting, i stayed in hostel (without any mates- poor me!)and i didn't have a chance to go back to my parents' during ramadhan.that's the reason why. i knew, i'm not a good muslim. pujuk hati sendiri, tak pela, dulukan yang wajib.

this year, saya ingatkan saya dapat puasa penuh. ceh, memang perasan la. nampaknya saya beraya lebih awal daripada anda semua. hihihi...tensionnya. ingatkan dapat beraya sama2 di 1 syawal. ok, not funny! tapi alhamdulillah, rekod solat tarawikh tahun ni tak seburuk tahun lepas. tahun ni saya dapat perform 2 kali solat tarawikh.ok, 2 kali je. sebab awal ramadhan, i managed to get a leave so i went back to my parents'. tapi saya buat 8 rakaat jela. saya bukan budak alim. eceh...tak pe, yang penting ikhlas.

baju raya? hrmm,6 pairs of baju kurung yang tak mungkin akan siap semuanya. hihi. ok,too much right? dah la puasa tak penuh, ada hati nak buat baju raya banyak2. gediks la kau.

no laa...actually i planned to have only 3 baju kurung for raya. those are the kain i bought in bandung hari tu. then, my parents went to ho chi minh, so they bought me 1 piece of fabrics for baju kurung. lepas tu my dad went to surabaya and got me another 2 pairs. bukan saya memintak2 okay! ni namanya rezeki..=). tak payah buat baju kurung setahun nampaknya...=p

yang namanya bukan baju kurung, saya beli sehelai top di Zara dan sehelai jeans ni Marks&Spencer. cukup la tu. macam la amalan puasa kau bagus sangat kan Ainal..melebih2 pulak belanja.haih...

raya tahun ni di rumah saja. tak balik kampung tahun ni. juga tahun lepas. juga tahun-tahun sebelumnya. tahun depan tak tau lagi. yang penting, saya enjoy je raya kat rumah. saya tak pernah kisah kalau raya kat rumah saya tak meriah macam kat rumah korang, asalkan saya bahagia. hari raya pertama, berbaju kurung sambil berbaring depan tv sambil mengunyah honey cornflakes. itu amalan saya. again, i know already i'm the queen of lame. haha!! berdosa tak sambut raya macam ni? eh, tapi saya bermaaf-maafan tau.

yeay, esok balik rumah. sure kerja pun dah tak berapa nak betul esok. separuh hati. driving alone tomorrow. sila doakan saya agar tidak merempit di highway. kelajuan maksimum yang saya boleh buat ialah 155km/hr. sila doakan saya tidak berbuat demikian esok. so that saya boleh sampai rumah dengan selamat dan tidak ada sesiapa yang menahan saya di tengah jalan meminta tunjukkan lesen.

Eid Mubarak to all Muslim.

P.S. I Love You....

2010-07-25T22:03:00.004+08:00

i just finished watching P.S I Love You, a movie adapted from a novel by Cecilia Ahern...yes, i know many, many of you have watched this movie before.

it looks like an ordinary movie, sounds ordinary. however it inspires me. A lot. giving me a new light, new hope, new life!

virtually,we lost our loved ones in different ways. it could be death. it could be you who are leaving. or you being dumped. for whatever reason on earth, for God's sake. how does it feel like?

Death separated Holly and Gerry. yeah, i have lost my loved ones too. the mechanism of it, aahh! too complicated to be explained...and it's too painful. only God knows how painful it is. i cried and cried in my lonely night. why? simple, love is a precious beautiful emotion in which we don't know where it is situated. do you think it's in the brain? scientists say so. heck, if it is in the brain, why the hell i feel it in my heart, not up there inside the brain? my brain doesn't feel anything. why do i have those butterflies tickling me in my stomach?

i grieved for more or less 4 months for the lost. still grieving, but currently me is at 'acceptance' stage. i went through all stages of grief. it's all started with denial. couldn't believe it at first. woke up in the morning and...oh, i'm all alone now.

and the anger came in. i blamed everyone including myself for what happened. it was burning inside. i tried to bargain but it seemed like his heart is made of concrete. i begged, i wished and i prayed for him to come back. it depressed me. slowly, i tried to accept that this is the end of it. maybe it is written up there that he is not for me. maybe God has planned something for me tomorrow. yeah, all 'maybe'. God is mysterious, we never know His plan.

after watching this movie, i grabbed few things.

it's just the end of a chapter, not yet the end of the book. there's still long way to go. if he broke his promises, i wouldn't suffer myself to keep my promises too. why should i keep my promises when somebody has broke it? i have my right to find my happiness in my own way. too many sweet memories when we were together, it was just a history. today is the reality. i wake up from the dream because tomorrow is so mystery. awaiting for me.

P.S - i locked the pieces of love in my heart. i threw the key into the mysterious ocean.

my shawl collections..

2010-06-02T21:01:00.006+08:00

i know i should save my money, at least until this weekend...but i just can't resist myself when i saw nice printed shawls. i went to UO this evening after for the purpose of urmmm,....checking the money exchange rates. after that, terbabas la...terus terbeli 3 shawls. yang satu tu memang ada baju untuk dipakai. yang dua lagi tu suka suki beli, mungkin akan dipakai atau mungkin akan terima nasib macam 2 lagi tie rack shawls yang masih tak ternoda.

my printed tudung/shawls collection. tak banyak mana pun...uols punya lagi banyak kan?kan?

remarks:

No. 5 - my favourite shawl
No. 11, 12, 13 - baru beli tadi
No. 8, 9, 10 - tie rack scarf
No. 9, 10 - tak pernah pakai lagi

jom beli shawl lagi!!

too early to have a visual impairment~

2010-05-30T00:06:00.006+08:00

i just realized this matter last night. in the middle of the night. about 12 something... initially i was planning to upgrade my luggage, thus i opened back my itinerary to check the booking number. i had a glance on the departure date from jakarta-kl...what???!!!!!!!nah, have a look at this...

OMG!!punya la berfikir nak buat apa ni....fikir punya fikir sampai tertidur. it is supposed to be 6.25pm not AM...

bangun pagi, sambung berfikir...ape aku nak buat ni...kalau ikut je itinerary tu, i have to leave for jakarta rabu malam tu. ish, then takkan nak lepak kat airport je kan sementara menunggu 6.25am tu. no way!! and what time do i have to check out from the hotel. memang tak masuk akal langsung.

so, i called my sis, asking her to settle this problem. aku tau kau baca blog aku ni. aku tau, ko boleh settlekan masalah besar ni...nevermind, whatever it takes, i will pay for it. and pay for yours too...except the phone bill yang kau guna tu. tu papa akan bayar..hehehe...

god is great. it happens that somebody that i know of is a money changer rupanya. hoping that i can get a good rate from her. berapa ahh nak tukar? haha, tukar la banyak mana pun, mesti takkan cukup.

eksaited, because i'm making money currently...alhamdulillah, GOD helps me!

The Plan

2010-05-23T22:36:00.007+08:00

bunyi title macam sesuatu big mission je...anyway, tak la...

just anticipating for the coming holidays je. i'm off to bandung in 2 weeks from now. yeay!!!lagi best bila journey ini melibatkan 2 manusia je.hee...my parents takde..another yeay!!! mesti la excited sebab selalunya trip yang agak jauh bermaksud parents mesti ada. now only me and my sis. not really a 'yeay' as she will 'pow' my pocket!

well, i'm not really sure how am i going to travel from jakarta to bandung. either to take train or other transport.train is cheap but it will take almost 3 hours and security wise...err, i'm not so keen. will only take the train if i had no choice.

we are going to stay in Progo Hotel, which located at Jalan Progo. from the survey, it is really near the factory outlets which is waiving to us, even now boleh terbayang2..hehe.duduk hotel murah je, tak perlu duduk hotel mahal2 as kitorang akan habiskan masa lebih daripada 14 jam kat luar. it costs only Rp200,000 per night. i baru booked this afternoon. another yeay!!

ehemmmm, so my plans are:

1. i'm looking forward to going to Erha Clinic. ya, doktor dgn klinik memang tak dapat dipisahkan, walaupun duduk kat mana. it's a skin specialist clinic. i had a good review about this clinic from my friend, Shizuka. owh, Shizuka is an indonesian lady tetapi mempunyai nama jepun dan rusia. shizuka punya skin masa kat O&G agak teruk, lepas dia pergi Erha Clinic,kulit dia jadi better. so, i want to give a try

2. hair job. i want to have my hair chopped! chewah, macam dah takde salon je kat malaysia. tapi tak tau la...saja suka2 kot. macam nak cari pro-hairstylist je. kan murah kat sana. why not? rebonding skali boleh tak?

3. Spa Q...eh, takla...mana ada spa Q kat sana. i want a full body spa. whoa, bestnya!!!bermanja-manjakan diri sendiri. kalau sempat la, benda tu kan time consuming...

4. lawatan ke Tangkuban Perahu is in KIV list. masa datang bandung 2 years ago memang ada plan nak pergi tangkuban perahu tapi biasa la, dugaan shopping tak dapat ditepis. haha!!syaitan shopping sangat kuat.

5. about makan...i'll come back to Rumah Makan Kampung Kurieng. boleh tak kalau rumah makan tu jadi penaja rasmi makanan sepanjang aku kat sana? tapi for this time, i'd like to try Kampung Daun. i heard it has a serene ambience.

6. the main activity yang takkan bosan punya....SHOPPING!!!!aku tak tau la berapa hari or hari-hari aku akan pergi shopping. as i mentioned above, syaitan shopping sangat kuat. dan semakin kuat bila duit semakin banyak. dan semakin kuat bila ada credit card. OMG!!!in my head dah terlalu banyak imaginasi barang hasil tangkapan nanti...haha!!!!

buat masa sekarang itu sahaja plans. tu pun dah banyak for 3 nights stay kan...

anybody who would like to get Revlon's products, please let me know. they have cheaper price there. it's not a ciplak item. the quality is the same as here.any other products, i'm not so sure.

ne-no-ne-no

2010-05-19T22:12:00.004+08:00

title di atas itu bukan bahasa tapi bunyi-bunyian a.k.a sound effect. yess, today is my first time ambulance ride. sumpah, akan sedaya upaya mengelakkan diri daripada menaiki ambulans selepas ini.

my MO suddenly came to me this this morning and asked me to accompany a patient with Supraventricular Tachycardia (SVT) to IJN. dia siap ajar la macam mana nak buat kalau suddenly patient develop SVT or collapse. the best part, i'm all alone. no staff nurse will follow me. if it happened that sampai tahap kena intubate patient tu, aku kena intubate sorang2...wahh, tension kejap.

tension selebihnya bila naik ambulans. gila terhentak2. kalau orang pregnant sure boleh miscarriage macam tu punya hentak. mata pun dah tak larat nak pandang cardiac monitoring and adjust2 position machine tu. maklum la, terhentak2...kalau tak adjust habisla patient kena hempap, aku yang mati.

on the way (ala, baru kat simpang pulai je pun), cardiac monitoring out of battery. sengal staff nurse tak bekalkan skali extension wire. buang masa betul. sampai IJN almost 2pm. kepala dah start berdenyut2. terpaksa tahan je... nauseated pulak tu.

pergi dengan harapan patient will be admitted, so that i can sleep on the way back. boy, i was wrong. they didn't admit the patient. we have to bring the patient back. kena la aku monitor lagi. tersengguk2 lagi la dalam ambulans tu. 7pm+ baru sampai ipoh. penat gila. sakit kepala. nak muntah.

tak mau naik ambulans dah.....dah la esok on call. benci lagi!

till here. sakit kepala. nak tido.

adrenaline

2010-05-12T23:53:00.005+08:00

yeah, boring la...
tukar nama baru...

i've been using the word 'adrenaline' since i was in form 5. why adrenaline?? at that time i just felt like the word macam rhymes with my name.

and now, i feel like me and adrenaline dah tak boleh dipisahkan. my adrenaline rush is quite strong. buat kerja banyak guna adrenaline woo....driving pun sentiasa in adrenaline rush!!

how do you feel like when the adrenaline rushes in your bloodstream?

how dare u kicked my head!~

2010-05-10T21:38:00.005+08:00

i had to cover male haemato ward last weekend as my friend was on leave. saturday was fine...err,not so fine as i was on called. fine means the ward works were nothing much.

but sunday was so eventful. really eventful. new experience, never had it before. for a first timer like me, it was really a big SHOCK!!!

this is about an orang asli pak cik. i'm not really sure what is his problem, might probably either lymphoma or leukaemia. i need to set a new line (iv branula) to him as the old one has already leaked. when i saw his hand, i feel like it's going to be an easy one. fyi, most haemato patients have difficult iv line as it is 'damaged' by the chemo drugs.

"pak cik, nak masuk 'jarum' baru. yang lama ni dah bocor.." simple words from me.

"tak nak!"

"kena jugak la pak cik, dah bocor yang ni. tak boleh pakai dah.." refusing branula insertion is a common thing. not a big deal.

"tak nak!"

"sekejap je...sakit sikit je pak cik" dengan baik hatinya aku pujuk lagi...

then i bent down...just about to tie the tourniquet on his left forearm. suddenly.........i felt something hit my head.

whattttttt the ?????!!!!!! dia tendang kepala aku!!! kurang ajar la tu kan.....like a reflex, i raised my voice.

"hey, apasal ni pak cik??!!" sangat2 terkejut. how dare he kicked my head!!! other patients started looking towards us. wah..melampau betul orang tua ni...

" tak nak la!" he raised his voice too.

" dah la!! kalau nak nak sudah!!!" kau ingat aku boleh tahan dengan perangai kurang ajar macam tu. terus blah dari situ before temperature reached the boiling point.

yes, this is a big deal! aku nak tolong kau, kau bagi kaki busuk kau kat aku. cari pasal la tu kan!!
kau ingat aku excited sangat ke nak insert kau punya branula tu. kau ingat aku suka-suka ke nak cucuk kau. dari ikhlas buat kerja, terus aku buat dosa kan? bagus punya perangai pak cik ni.

i said to the staff nurse that i'm not going to insert his branula anymore. find somebody else. i pissed off with his bloody attitude. he was alert and rational at that time eventhough he's ill. lain la dia tak alert and pergi tendang kepala aku, tu boleh la nak maafkan. or budak kecil yang tak berakal lagi.

eventhough i'm a doctor who need to be patient with patients, i'm just a human being with basic feelings. i have the right to get angry! kalau kau sendiri, kau rasa kau boleh cakap alhamdulillah ke bila orang buat kau macam tu? i don't think so. cukup bersabar la ni, at least aku tak guna harsh words towards you, pak cik.

wishlist again?no~

2010-04-25T23:43:00.008+08:00

remember this entry?

yeah, i've got it all after 4 months wish-ing it..not exactly the same,but similar....

first,this one...

then, this....

next,

latest.....

alhamdulillah...i worked hard to get the latest!!

and this month have to work harder to settle the swift's insurance and roadtax, credit card bills and all sort of bills....and to save for my trips in coming june. gosh!! i need at least 3k!!! maybe just have to burn my savings, which i tried not to....

and my ultimate wish list is still not yet achieved!!have to work really really hard for it....'what' is it??keep it within myself....pray hard for it, work hard for it...

tentang cinta

2010-04-04T23:25:00.005+08:00

i bought a novel a few weeks ago. usually i managed to finish it in 1 or 2 days, but not at this time. hrmm, time constraint. i only managed to reach the last full-stop in 2 weeks. sigh.

ever heard about Plato? or his teacher, Socrates? their words are gems.

Plato bertanyakan makna cinta dan Socrates pun menjawab:

" masuklah ke dalam hutan, pilihlah dan ambillah satu ranting yang menurutmu paling baik. tetapi engkau haruslah berjalan ke depan dan jangan kembali ke belakang. pada saat kau sudah memutuskan pilihanmu, keluarlah dari hutan dengan ranting tersebut."

maka masuklah Plato ke dalam hutan dan keluarlah Plato tanpa membawa sebatang ranting pun. Gurunya pun bertanya, maka jawablah Plato:

" Saya sebenarnya sudah menemui ranting yang bagus, tetapi saya berfikir barangkali di depan saya ada ranting yang lebih baik. tetapi setelah saya berjalan ke depan, ternyata ranting yang sudah saya tinggalkan tadilah yang terbaik. maka saya keluar dari hutan tanpa membawa apa-apa."

Guru itu pun berkata:

" Itulah cinta..."

Lalu Plato pun bertanya apakah makna perkahwinan.

" Sama seperti ranting tadi. Namun kali ini engkau haruslah membawa satu pohon yang kau fikir paling baik dan bawalah keluar dari hutan."

Maka masuklah Plato ke dalam hutan dan keluarlah Plato dengan membawa pohon yang tidak terlalu tinggi juga tidak terlalu indah. Gurunya pun bertanya, maka jawablah Plato:

"Saya bertemu pohon yang indah daunnya, besar batangnya tetapi saya tak dapat memotongnya dan pastilah saya tak mampu membawanya keluar dari hutan. Akhirnya saya tinggalkan. kemudian saya menemui pohon yang tidak terlalu buruk, tidak terlalu tinggi dan saya fikir mampu membawanya kerana mungkin saya tidak akan menemui pohon seperti ini di depan sana. Akhirnya saya pilih pohon ini kerana saya yakin mampu merawatnya dan menjadikannya indah."

Lalu sang guru berkata:

" Itulah makna perkahwinan..."

(Ranting Cinta Si Plato by Norhayati Berahim)

i love the tagline...

Tuhan beri beluncas untuk kita dapat rama-rama yang cantik.

Siapa ranting cinta kamu?

found it!

2010-03-27T22:20:00.004+08:00

i was on-called on last thursday. well, i had a nap at about 1am. then, at 3am the staff nurse from 4c called me, informing me that the paraquat poisoning patient was asystole. ok, i just went there to confirm the death and filled in the burial permit and what not.

i headed back to my room to rest at 4am.

5.19am...my phone rang again..aaaahhhh,kacau lagi. guess who called me??

a policewoman.

mula2 ingat, apekah polis ni nak call aku 5.19am. OMG!!!ngantuk gila!!remember, i have lost my new purse? yes, dia kata my purse ada kat pondok polis yang dekat casualty tu. yeay!! tak mampu nak bergembira sangat sebab mengantuk. haha. just cakap kat dia that i would come down pagi nanti.

so, i went down to pick it up around 6.45am. rupanya my purse dah quite lama ada kat situ. i asked her, macam mana tiba2 boleh inform saya regarding the purse. in this case, i should thank the paraquat poisoning patient. sebab i signed and stamped the burial permit, sijil kematian and borang ape ntah lagi tu, dia perasan my name. tu yang dia contact saya.

wahh,gembira betul..nasib baik belum beli purse baru. my purse disfigured sikit la. i guess macam dah berendam air sekejap kot. everything is still there except the only rm2+ money yang ada dalam tu. kesian betul pencuri tu. sure kau frustrated ada rm2 je dalam purse tu.haha.

and many thanks to insan mulia yang pulangkan purse tu...=)

2010-03-24T18:57:00.008+08:00

i am 25 since 2 days ago. no party, no cake...nothing great! i never wish to have a cake pun this year.

i woke up early in the morning. wah, macam azam baru pulak birthday girl bangun awal. hey, kau ingat aku baik sangat nak bangun awal kalau aku cuti? that's not me for this 25 years of life. bangun awal sebab kena bersiap2 untuk pergi buat IC baru, license baru, ATM card baru. heh, IC baru, macam 12 tahun punya cerita je. haha! i didn't blog about my purse that has been stolen. purse baru yang i showed off kat blog before this la. hrmm, nasib baik buat IC sekejap je, tak ramai orang. baru duduk 2 minit kakak kaunter tu dah panggil. RM10 paid!

then, pergi amik gambar untuk license. lepas tu bukan pergi buat license. pergi Maybank dulu untuk buat ATM card. RM20 checked! at least aku ada duit sikit lepas tu. hee...after that baru pergi JPJ,terus renew license tu. habis pulak RM50. wow!!berbelanja betul hari ni nampaknya..

last skali baru pergi buat ATM CIMB. kena bayar berapa tah. dah la procedure lagi strict from Maybank. nak kena ada birth cert. la...nasib baik ada direct access, boleh pakai.

thanks to the pencuri, i managed to settle everything before 1pm termasuk carwash. ok, i never wash Miss Swiffy myself. Ape punya perangai la ni...(shakehead!)

when i reached home, suudenly i spotted a bouquet of pink roses on the table...aiks, from whom??wait till the end k....

balik rumah, nothing much. main kucing macam biasa. busy packing to go back to ipoh. i balik ipoh dalam 4.15pm. before masuk kereta, terpaksa bagitau wan the truth beneath...poor wan, i could see the tears and me myself hardly controlled the tears. ok,cukup cerita pasal ni...

that nite, the girls went out to jusco. me, farah and syikin. syikin wanted to treat me with cake, but no thanks. tak ada rasa nak makan kek, so jangan paksa diri. yours truly wanted an cream instead. so, we headed to my favourite ice cream ever, baskin robbins. when were together, i always wanted the banana split. tapi takut tak habis (sungguh tak masuk akal) and mahal pulak tu. so, malam tu memang tak boleh tahan lalu terbelanja mereka the banana split. sorang amik satu flavour la. ok, i wont buy it again after this. nothing great bout it. baik amik ikut scoop je. or beli 1 pint on every 31st.

tak menarik bukan banana split ni. macam perahu nak pecah! tak stable langsung...

me and farah (assunta schoolmate)

with syikin ( SAMURA schoolmate)

ok,here are birthday treats 4 this year...

this is from my mum and wan. dorang bagi duit je,so i bought this daisy...if not, i would spend the money untuk beli ntah ape2 benda. i love this daisy. one of my perfume wish list.

ni from adik kesayangan. i won't spend ~rm60 just for this stuff. you wont regret buying this curler. the effect lasts long tau. worth buying!

who gave me the pink roses bouquet??

from my papa!!!!!! ahh, sungguh tak sesuai. soooo not my colour.roses ni pun dah nak layu. lebih baik bagi duit, ada la lebihan untuk membeli belah bulan ini. haha!!!tak pe la, maybe papa can sense it. haha!!

they give me happiness...suka main belasah2 dengan dorang...miss both of you budak manja!

ok, i'm 25. thank you.

overworked or workaholic?

2010-03-20T00:46:00.004+08:00

some people say, as i am single, be a workaholic. so that you can forget the pain. but aah, i am absolutely not a workaholic person. in fact, i overworked these few days.

what makes me overworked?ok, i don't mean to hurt people here. a lot of people have a poor perception towards all ukraine/russia grads. as for me, i have friends who graduated from these countries and they are competent in work. but some are (sorry to say to fellow colleagues)...terrible!! not all, just some...

people say,local grads are good and competent. not all,bear in mind...i will never say that i am good, of course...because i'm still in learning process. but i have the confidence that i must buck up and i have to do any work that i am supposed to do eventhough i have not done it before. by hook or by crook, i have to do it. no excuse for me for not doing it. just do it properly and people will gain trust in you.

i am having problems with some colleagues in my ward that i'm working in currently. i have to do some of their works. bukanla saya nak berkira kerja. i don't mind. tapi ni tak....kerja dorang MO suruh saya yang buat. because they are slow and don't know what they are doing. ceh ainal, cakap macam la kamu bagus sangat buat kerja...kalau tak bagus kenapa saya kena buat kerja orang lain walaupun kerja tu quite simple? sory la kalau saya guna perkataan slow. accept the fact.

simple...you just have to have the initiative and interest in your work. this is the path that you chose, you have to do it! and being a doctor is not same as pembantu perawatan kesihatan, in which you boleh berlengah2 buat kerja. you have to be fast. think fast, write fast and walk fast. ni jalan pun macam hypothyroid. tension haku!! tak kisah la kalau tak pandai. tak pandai boleh belajar kan? saya pun tak pandai, tapi ada la sikit initiative walaupun saya ni pemalas jugak.

can you just imagine when your colleague asked you...

"what is insulin resistance?"

"what?!"

"what is insulin resistance?is that mean that the pancreas cannot secrete the insulin?"

it doesn't take a doctor to answer that silly question. it's not a practical question.it's a practical joke. you are a joker man!! the question is unacceptable. the word resistance itself explains everything. ok, fair enough. maybe dia tak tau ape makna resistance..hee..whatever!

dah la i manusia yang review patients paling banyak kat wad tu. bila review patient paling banyak, it always means that you ada the most plans that need to be carried out. then tambah lagi dengan kerja dorang yang saya kena buat. siapa tak tension.

hari ni punya la banyak kerja yang kena buat. i wanted to do it fast so i can go back early. yes, i'm in my parent's house now...=)..this useless guy just senyap-senyap cabut pukul 5.1opm. wth??!!last2 i punched out my card at 6pm..dah la kau datang kerja paling lambat, kau balik paling awal. kau selamba mintak MO untuk pergi lunch, aku dengan sorang lagi member just got our lunch at 6pm. dah la aku dah tolong buat kerja kau!hish, melampau!! mula la aku ada perasaan nak belasah orang and berkira buat kerja. hish, tipu je...takkan la i boleh belasah orang..haha!!

tiba-tiba i nak cakap. i know i have to be responsible to my patients. tapi staff nurse pun satu hal. dah 2x jadi. patient yang problematic semua nak call aku eventhough dah pukul 7pm lebih and i'm not on call. macam tadi, i was driving home. dah dekat slim river dah. tiba2 received call dari staff nurse ni nak inform pasal patient pergi dialysis ada problem. tapi nasib baik mood aku baik nak sampai rumah kan, tak de la aku sound.

huh,banyak betul nagging and complaints kat sini. yela,i macam kena buli je. well, i'm just human being who sometimes pissed off with few silly things that is happening around me. maybe i just need to increase my level of patience. mungkin kena jadi more sincere. mungkin kena betulkan nawaitu. mungkin akan terus membebel. haha! tak baiknya yang last tu...

i'm overworked, not workaholic!

bitter heart~

2010-03-15T22:44:00.005+08:00

...Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine....

(Zee Avi-Bitter heart)

can u come back to reality if your love destroyed within a blink?you will rub your eyes or at least give a dose of pinch to yourself. so do i.

what do i feel right now?plain. i don't really cry, because i think i look stupid. just a few drops of tears enough to explain that i am human who got feelings. haha. it doesn't sound funny. just to prove i bukan hati kayu or hati batu. lagi la tak funny at all. ok, i failed to make a joke.

i'm recovering pretty well. not much complication occurs. at times, the saying boleh pakai...

....single is simple, double is trouble...

haha!!

can't wait for the Hot Air Balloon this weekend. come, let's have bittersweet chocolate..(ade kaitan)

smile!

the x-files no.1

2010-03-13T23:53:00.004+08:00

i have a story to tell. i'm a medical person who believe a basic scientific reason behind anything that happened until proven otherwise.

last week. it happened on the day in which my ward was an active ward. active means that any new admissions will go to that particular ward. it was around 4pm. i was about to clerk a new case at bed 32, basically bed for dengue patient. i thought it was a dengue case, but i was absolutely wrong.

the girl is a college student, with sudden onset of behavioral changes. she talk to herself, crying spells, laughing to herself, unable to take care of herself for about 10 days with on and off fever. no headache. not under recreational drug influence and no precipitating factors. she was in acute psychotic state. from the referral, they are suspecting viral encephalitis. but, white cells only slightly increased. nothing great. CSF is clear. CT brain shows slight cerebral oedema.

interestingly, when i was clerking the girl, the attendant pushed in one more girl, who is the patient's elder sister, who presenting with the same problem. OMG! that scares me, at least for few minutes. is this an outbreak???i didn't use any protection when i was clerking my patient, just in case it is an air-borne disease.

they didn't stay in the same place. the one that i clerked (younger sister) stays in college, while the elder stays at home. the symptoms are about the same, and the onset also about at the same time. only that the younger sister is less aggressive than the elder one. what is going on, now?i questioned myself.

MRI was done for both siblings the next day. as i expected, they were normal.

so, what is happening actually? saya pun tak tau.. nobody knows actually. i hardly believe in supersitions, tapi kita wajib percaya benda-benda ghaib, kan?

wallahua'lam.

CPR is a good exercise~

2010-03-07T23:07:00.005+08:00

i did my 2nd call yesterday. i was on call with somebody who is not very competent, frankly speaking. dah boleh predict ape akan jadi sepanjang hari tu. dah la weekend kan. huhu.

luckily, we have 3 new taggers. what, lucky?! not at all. i have a few unstable patients in ward, in which 2 were intubated. petang tu, one of the patients passed away. good thing was, DNR case. after the patient passed away, her bed was taken by a new patient who was intubated. she has had cardiogenic shock. she had ventricular tachycardia and after been shock, reverted to sinus rhythm but converted to fast AF. ok,kalau korang ada yang kurang faham, takpe. boleh skip part ni. maafkan saya bercerita sesuatu yang anda tidak faham.

so, petang tu saya mintak tolong la tagger ni pegi trace result for the patient. mula2 dia macam refuse. ok, never mind la if nak refuse kan...tapi dia pergi jugak la. ala,bukan jauh. wad sebelah je. the sodium level of the patient was 184mmol/L. patient memang dehydrated la, severely dehydrated. she was on normal saline (NS) drip. i was thinking and mumbling, nak tukar drip ape ni? i can't change to Dextrose 5% (D5), nanti sodium crash, patient can get cerebral oedema. ok la, i think i should give half saline. tiba2 sorang tagger ni cakap....

"ainal, we can give water for injection to the patient. water for injection drip.."

aku dah....what???!!!!should i slap my forehead or should i slap him?nak marah ke nak gelak?? kalau first posting tak pe la,aku maafkan kalau berkata begitu. ni dah 2nd posting. ape kes?? kau tau tak water for injection tu ape and untuk ape? kau tau tak water for injection drip tak wujud??tak wujud ok...aku just cakap 'no, no.....' malas nak cakap banyak. sebab aku stress sikit time tu. dah la dgn partner on call aku tak tau banyak benda. sampai nak manage dengue patient pun tanya aku. bengang la kan. he was in this posting lagi lama daripada aku and we manage dengue patientssss everyday.

dah malam, like 9.45pm patient tu collapse. no pulse. asystole. blood pressure unrecordable. pupil fixed and dilated. ape lagi, mengarah la kat nurse suruh tarik emergency trolley and aksi mengepam pun bermula. i know the patient has poor prognosis tapi tak pela. just pump. suruh bagi atropine x3 and adrenaline x1, and after 15 mins pumping, i managed to get back the mak cik. happy seyh eventhough i know happiness tu takkan berpanjangan. after the resus, family members keen for DNR. sigh. the mak cik passed away at 4am today. al-fatihah.

i told u kat atas yang ada 2 patients intubated kan?sorang auntie ni severe urosepsis with acute renal failure. prognosis very poor but family members still insist for active resuscitation. takpe la, i told my friend. kita pump je bila dia collapse. and she collapsed at 12midnight. tak tau kenapa, aku macam hyper sikit malam tadi. aku resus bersungguh2 betul sampai mandi peluh la. habis peluh menitik2..yearkkk!!!haha...aku pump sampai terpatahkan ribs dia.. dua kali bunyi "KRAKKK!!!" aku dengar...hee...aku yang berat or auntie tu yang osteoporosis..hehe. tapi as expected, she couldn't revived. bungkus dia at 12.30am.

satu lagi lawak. i took nap at 4am+, suddenly my friend kejutkan i dalam 6.20am tanya macam mana nak bagi MgSO4. dalam mamai2 aku bagitau la kat dia. kena bagi slow bolus dalam 20mins. when i woke up 6.30am, aku tanya la dia, dah bagi ke MGSO4 tu...then he brought me to the patient. aku cam nak pengsan. syringe and needle ada kat branula patient tu. he said, he purge sikit MgSO4 tu and he went away to take blood. then, he'll come back again to purge the MGSO4. OMG!!!sape ajar dia buat camtu??kreatif tak bertempat. yang pasti bukan aku yang ajar. haih~

penat la hari ni. alaa,aku ni sentiasa penat. hehe. lemau betul..penat la,diarrhea lagi.sigh. had a sushi with farah just now and she treat me with baskin's. yummy!!

anticipate 5th call this thursday...=)

till then.

it's not right, but it's ok....

2010-02-28T19:20:00.005+08:00

have you ever heard

jauh di mata, dekat di hati...

have you ever heard

jauh di mata, jauh di hati...

bagusla kalau pernah.

have you ever heard

jauh hati....

it's different from jatuh hati. lagi bagus kalau pernah dengar.

mood: euthymic, but slightly frustrated.

please plot your mood in a graph

2010-02-26T00:31:00.005+08:00

it's 12.36am

yes, i had a cup of espresso just now. so, no suprise.

my daily life is up and down recently. so do my mood. not exactly a mood swing anyway. but if you plot on a graph, the curve is like an SVT..haha!tak kena langsung. SVT tu on ECG...heh!

i had my CNY holidays for 5 days. macam la aku pulak yang beraya. no, no. i merayakan my end-posting leave. memang heaven, sempat cop duit untuk kumpul beli handphone baru to replace this kodi nokia. nokia ni kodi tapi banyak berjasa tau.

i started my medical posting on 17/2/10. perghhhh!!!i was told that i have to tag for 2 weeks. bloody****!!!fill in the blank please. your answer is right until proven otherwise! i have to tag from 5pm-12midnite. mind you, i have to work as usual from 7am-5pm. apekah hidup ini??? penat gila la!!!bunyinya sangat kejam.

biarla orang nak torture aku. but i won't torture myself. aku lari balik sekejap untuk makan, mandi and duduk beberapa minit...hehe,bukanlah berlari. of course i'm driving. tak kuasa la nak jalan kaki balik. punya la pemalas. haha!! tak pernah pegi kerja jalan kaki eventhough hospital and hostel tu berapa jengkal je. peduli la kan kalau nak marah sebab aku pegi tag lambat. extend la tagging aku, which i'm 99% confirm they won't. cis, macam berlagak pulak. biarla, i know my capability. kalau tak,i tak berani cakap.

huh, tak suka la medical. it's suppose to be MADical, not MEDical..kan? bosan la,ward round lama gile,nak sampai afternoon. dragging like drag queen..haha!not funny at all. just imagine,doing round from pagi sampai tengah hari. woo...macam nak patah kaki. tangan tak penat,otak penat sampai kekurangan oxygen rasanya. now i know, i not medical person. i opt for surgical line.

day 5 tagging, mood swing upward. my MO called me to clinic. yeay!!!best gile, time tagging dah panggil pergi clinic. do you understand what do i mean? bagus kalau anda faham. balik dari clinic, i plan to send my car for service. OMG!!!!!my purse was not in my bag. heart stopped pumping for 1 second. i was positively sure i took out rm10 from my purse this morning. i ran to my car to have a look eventhough i knew it's not there. i've lost my wallet!! si pencuri bodoh, sila masuk dalam neraka. eventhough ko tak nak masuk neraka, berpura-pura la tergelincir lalu masuk dalam neraka!! it's not about the money. my purse is stuffed with whole lot of cards. my IC, driving license, 3 ATMs card, shopping card, petronas card...all gone!including a photo of my boyfriend and i which i kept since we were in 2nd year of med school. sedih sangat!!!

dah la purse tu baru beli. i went to MV twice to look for that purse. tak la purse mahal pun tapi i love the purse,especially it's color. si pencuri bodoh, ada rm2 je dalam tu!!kau memang sangat hina!!i want the same purse....=(.eiii,geramnya...saya bersalah 20% sebab letak purse dalam beg. tapi nak letak kat mana lagi. we housemen do not have a locker. hina gile!!nama je doctor, tapi orang2 atas ni tak peduli langsung pasal kebajikan doctor. ko ingat doctor ni kaya ke hape??kitorang mana ada tempat tetap, menumpang je mana2 seat yang kosong kat dalam ward tu, ada meja jauh panggang dari api. if u want to be comfortable at workplace, don't be a doctor. dah aku dah membebel pulak.hee...

today, day 9 tagging. oh please, tolong lah off tag saya...tak boleh sabar dah ni. malas betul nak tagging. MO oncall today is worse than a monster. hari ni akal asyik bergerak macam mana nak off tag cepat ni. so this afternoon, i asked my ward specialist to off tag me. tapi, jawapan dia tak conclusive langsung..haih!! then i asked my ward MO yang quite baik dengan i. cepat2 dia jawab i boleh off tag!!!! yeay!!!!gembira betul!liver melompat2...then i had my lunch at 5pm. huu,nasib baik dapat lunch eventhough 5pm. the same MO looked for me in the pantry. she asked me not to come to work tomorrow. sorry, again??!!!! unbelievable!!biar betul...aku takde pun mintak leave. she asked me whether i'm celebrating maulidur rasul. i replied, not really. i can come to work...half day only maa...

but she still insist that i don't have to come to work tomorrow. rezeki saya. yeay!!!nak tau rahsianya. be cool at work and buat kerja betul2 confidently. walaupun ko tak berapa nak brilliant, just show that you are brilliant and always show your interest. walaupun berpura interested je.haha! i never bodek to take this free leave...ok?

sleep now, and wake up late tomorrow.
till then.

do you curse??i do...

2010-02-11T00:09:00.005+08:00

**this entry contains harsh words and cursing. kalau tak tahan or korang tak pernah curse,jgn baca ok..**

i had my last call in surgery yesterday, doing the 4th call which means OT call. saya oncall dengan MO yg paling saya suka (NOT!!)...refer him as HP. sorang lagi CT. i hate him. both of them actually.

the first case started lebih kurang 9+ am.. initially ingatkan PGU (perforated gastric ulcer). so, open la kan...cis,rupanya just perforated appendix. penat tangan retract woo.. dah la the 3rd call MO cam #%^&*!@#!!! ok,ini ialah sumpah seranah. bloody hell betul. rasa mcm nak sumpah dia jadi bab* boleh x?? he didn't let me stand on stool during the op. he said that previously ada houseman jatuh from stool tu. bodoh ke ape?tu accident, and how often the accident occurs?? one MO told me to just create excuse cakap ada backache and under ortho follow-up..haha!!sume orang pun tak suka kau!!consultant pun tak suka kau..kau ingat kitorang tak tau ke?

masa 2nd case, boleh pulak sound aku pakai rantai. depan HOD pulak tu.. WTF!!macam aku sorang pakai rantai. wey, specialist and consultant pun pakai rantai. siap ada yg pakai dangling earrings lagi. aku buat muka blur je. nasib baik pakai mask. kau mesti tak tau ape muka aku buat kan?haha...

break about 1.45pm. sempat la pegi isi perut jap. then,bukan rest tau. i have to go back to ward, doing the ward work. sempat pegi teaching kejap, keluar before habis teaching because OT panggil lagi for laparoscopic appendicectomy. masuk OT before 6pm. CT asked me to take off my necklace!!!bloody hell!!!mangkuk!!manusia jahat..heh, manusia ke setan??kalau necklace aku hilang, bukan dia nak ganti..terpaksa la jugak aku bukak.nasib baik staff nurse baik tolong packkan elok2 necklace tu.

after that, i asked permission from HP to do the appendicectomy. he just said that 'ok, but if you don't do well i will take over'. at first aku diam je even dalam hati mendidih. before this, dia pernah kat saya (masa tu baru join surgical)..'at the end of posting, i expect u to insert the chest tube like inserting the CBD (urine catheter)'...padahal dia mengajar dlm bahasa cina. huh, mesti rasa mcm nak lempang orang kan?? so, at that time aku dah tak boleh sabar. aku perli dia balik...
' this is my first time doing, so i don't think i'll do it like somebody who has done it for so many tmes!'..haha!!puas hati aku.

so, yeay!!eventhough dia supervise aku tak tau la ikhlas ke tidak, thanks for giving me that opprtunity. so, i was the surgeon sekejap. hee... it's a bliss when you operating but it sucks when u are retracting!!macam nak tercabut tangan. it's a good exercise for those who wants to build up the muscles. the next appendicectomy cases. dia kata dia nak buat sebab nak cepat. tak kisah la.

we stopped for a while almost 9pm for ward round. then masuk OT again and again and again. i ate my dinner at 1. 40am. tu pun makan sebab takut hypo dalam OT. i keluar OT almost 6am. OMG!! masa buat appendicectomy yg tengah malam buta tu ingatkan dah last case,rupanya ada lagi case bertimpa2. macam sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga. heh,berperibahasa pulak!dalam hati curse lagi..haha!!

masa keluar OT yg nak dekat 6 pagi tu dorang kata ada lagi 1 case...will call dalam 6.30am. i just want to take a nap for a while. dah menggigil dah tangan. penat gile. rasa macam nak sawan je..haha!!drama. tapi betul tau..masa lie down nak tido kejap tu, memang my body jerking kejap. no worry, that's a physiological jerk. my lecturer told me that. ala,korang pun mesti pernah jerking macam tu.

i only woke up at 7.10am..gelabah gile!!nasib baik OT tak panggil. haha!!tapi terpaksa la pegi pass over round. dengan tak mandinya, selamba je. malam tu pun tak sempat mandi. tak risau, OT kan 'ber'air-cond. perfume pun ada,spray jela..haha!!

i'm on leave today!! balik breakfast jap dengan roti canai sardin Vanggey. then tido from 10am till 5pm. puas hati aku!!

bangun tido je, pegi dentist cabut gigi. seriusly tak sakit langsung. but she scolded me for not eating since 9am.takut collapse lepas cabut gigi..haha!!i'm tough ok. the bleeding didn't stop till now. after 6hrs of extraction. do i have a bleeding disorder??nvm, gonna take FBC coming morning. tengok platelet.huhu...

banyak cursing ke??tak la banyak sangat kan...tapi actually i have cursed a lot, especially to some people, not patient k!!!tu yang tak cursed sangat kat sini...=p

it kiehl's me!

2010-01-27T21:30:00.007+08:00

i'm a new fan of Kiehl's! ala, baru je beli 3 item Kiehl's dah nak perasan fan. lantak la..haha!

the first thing i bought from Kiehl's was the Rare Earth Pore Minimizing lotion. best tau. it smells so earthy. ada macam bau clay sikit. rasanya ada kurang 50ml lagi baki. hee...honestly, tak ada la nak kata it's the best mosturizer as my pores still wide open. eh,not so wide and obviousla..=p. maybe different types of skin will give different effect. tapi i suka bau dia! beli la, setakat ni harga dalam rm125. bukan nak berlagak dengan harga ni eh. tapi standard la bila survey barang,sure nak survey price jugak kan. be rational..=)

next, i have bought the Kiehl's Lip Balm #1. it's colorless. it will simply moist your chapped lips. i have tried so many lip balm before. masa sekolah dulu pakai Avon (curi pakai my mom punya). then masa secondary school and matrix pakai LipIce. kan famous LipIce ni among teens..heee... Vaseline pun pernah pakai. lepas tu masa kat uni, up la sikit pakai Body Shop..=p. dah kerja ni, biasa la ada beberapa sen terlebih (gedix!), baru-baru ni i tukar pakai Kiehl's. Body shop still pakai ok, untuk penghabisan stok! me always carry this Kiehl's in my white coat..=). price: rm29.

latest collection, i bought the Kiehl's Gently Exfoliating Body Scrub "the pear tree corner". previously, i got a lavender body scrub sample. scrub dia is the best setakat ni. rasa bersih suci je badan bila sental dengan scrub ni. haha! melampau tak? since then, i memang aim untuk beli scrub ni. masa tu tak tau lagi berapa hengget. i asked my sis to survey the price. mak aii!!!rm90 for 200ml. initially, saya berkira-kira jugak. nak beli ke tak nak. for me, mahal sangat! huh, pejam je sebelah mata..hulur jugak la duit tu last week. tapi i tak beli yang lavender sebab bau pear lagi best. pear + aloe vera + chamomile...=).

bila you all beli Kiehl's, you all akan dapat banyak samples. i love samples! don't ya?? at least i got 3 samples for each product i bought. masa beli scrub tu, SA tu bagi 8 samples tau!!baik hati gile,murahkan la rezeki dia..haha!!bodek je aku ni...=p. hari tu dapat sample body scrub, i end up beli product tu. just now i tried the Epidermal Re-Texturizing Microdermabrasion. ini ialah sejenis face scrub. a dermatologist solution from Kiehl's. OMG!!!this is the best scrub ever!!! memang rasa cam buat microdermabrasion (MDR). i berani cakap sebab i pernah buat MDR. i don't care. i wanna buy this baby!price tak tau berapa ratusan. i bet mesti tahap ratusan ni...but i don't care!

i'm promoting Kiehl's ni tau. tak dapat royalti pun. haha!! tapi nak samples banyak-banyak lagi!!sample dia banyak tau, each sachet ada 5ml.

ahhh, it 'kiehl's' me, 'kiehl's' my money!!!

bills~

2010-01-24T11:07:00.005+08:00

lama betul tak mengupdate blog..
as usual, malas...confess jela,susah ape..

hmm, hari ni bakal mengirai duit lagi.

sekarang tengah buat duit,kejap lagi duit ini akan dihabiskan serta-merta.
wah,bestnya!!

dan esok,duit akan masuk lagi.
duit yg masuk esok kena berjimat cermat
pernah dengar tak lagu bills, bills, bills by Destiny's Child?
lagu tu masa kita..eh saya kat secondary skool lagi...

bills,bills, bills...
can you pay my telephone bills
can you pay my automo-bills
then maybe we can chill

wah,bestnya kalau macam tu kan?

corn, not jagung!

2010-01-14T21:05:00.005+08:00

i had a corn. not a jagung, but a corn on my left sole. dah lama rasanya that bloody corn bertapak di kakiku....

anyhow, petang ni terasa nak cuci-cuci kaki. nak scrubbing my foot lah. after that minor operation (wedge excision of ingrown toenail),the op site becomes very dry, and the skin exfoliate. nak pegi pedicure,takde duit dan tak tau nak buat pedi kat mana kat ipoh ni. cheh, konon!

when i was scrubbing my sole, suddenly i noticed that corn is not there anymore!! yeay, no more!! ntah dah berapa tahun (exaggerated..tapi macam betul) jadi permanent resident on my sole, tetiba dia merajuk lalu migrated. i didn't do anything, tak kecikkan hati dia pun. tak tau pegi mana. tak bagi notis pun. at least bagi la notis sebulan kan..

haha. cerita ni sangat tak berfikir. tapi saya gembira sebab dia dah blah from tapak kaki saya!!remember corn, syurga kamu bukan di bawah tapak kaki saya..=D

boring friday, just crapping as i have NO work to do!

2010-01-08T07:50:00.006+08:00

any idea where am i and what i am doing rite now??
today is friday, so of course i'm at work!!!!it's damn boring because i have no patient yet. erkk,how come no patient in hospital eh?

haih, daycare in so boring!! i just feel non-productive being here. only one thing i learn from daycare. i learn about chemotherapy. yes, 1 of my job here is giving chemotherapy to patients. when i was in the ward, i hardly remember the regimes, as i have other thing that need to be done. being here for 1 week, i can remember the regimes and drugs in the regimes itself.

paling tak tahan bila bagi FEC regime. ok, FEC contains 5-Fluorouracil, Epirubicin and Cyclophosphamide. the EC is the bolus and the F is in drip form. mengantuk gile masa bagi bolus dose tu. dah la usually bagi dalam tengah hari or pukul 1 lebih, memang prime time la tu kan!!especially masa tu baru lepas makan...zzzzzzzzzzz........

other job which i considered as the stupid clerking job is taking consent from patients going for op, cystoscopy and endoscopy. it's really non-productive!!tak tahan la buat kerja ni. i feel like stupid je...

i don't know to consider today is a bliss or vice versa. usually i come @ 7am,hari ni saya saja2 buat lambat,datang 7.10am...alah,10minit je pun kelewatan sengaja ini. bila datang,satu patient pun takde...arrrgghhh,tensionnya!!!until now 8am pun i still lurking -hanging-banging around.haha!!dah la CME takde jugak. thank god i have suturing workshop sekejap lagi.

i want to be a neurosurgeon!!!!!yeah!!
(apahal tetiba je ni...)

selamat on call di tahun baru~

2009-12-31T23:26:00.006+08:00

i'm bored with the current my blog's layout. hati dah menggedix-gedix nak tukar tapi hati kecil cepat merasuk...oppss,lebih tepat lagi menghasut. malas betullah. not in my rajin state. tapi new year, kena la kasi fresh sikit ini blog walaupun selalu terkepam je. huh,what am i crapping ni?

happy new year everyone!!

kepada dr. ainal, selamat on call di tahun baru. selamat gunakan kekuatan muscle dan lelemak di lengan untuk retract ape yang patut kau retract esok. semoga dapat melakukan open appendicectomy juga. amin!

ada fireworks tak malam ni?=p

no thrill for today as i spoiled it!

2009-12-30T00:20:00.006+08:00

petang tadi ialah journey from home back to ipoh. sorang2 drive swiffy. mula-mula cakap dalam hati, nak masuk highway exit Behrang la. lepas penuhkan fuel tank dengan rm50 (fuh,melayang lagi rm50) tak jadi la nak ikut Behrang. ikut exit ikut Bidor la. sebab jalan dari Behrang ke Bidor memang boleh speed (saya ratu speeding!). alih-alih bila nak sampai bidor, hati besar suruh masuk highway,sebahagian hati kecil terdetik sesuatu. apekah??

hmm, paling jauh pun setakat ni aku drive sampai Bidor je ikut jalan biasa. kasi thrill la sikit hari ni. ikut jalan biasa sampai ipoh. tak pernah buat lagi ni (jam dah pukul 6.36pm masa tu).

sampai bidor,dipaksa dan terpaksa ikut cakap hati kecil untuk ikut jalan lama to ipoh. which means, akan reach tapah. okay, jalan from behrang to bidor ada 2 lanes,that's why boleh speed. rupa-rupanya jalan to tapah ada 1 lane je. banyak lori pulak tu. whatt the whattt!!!saya drive dalam 50-60km/hr je...angin dah naik atas kepala dah. gile!aku tak boleh terima drive dengan speed macam ni. tak boleh jadi ni, cancel la nak ikut jalan lama. cari nahas ke ape. hari makin gelap (ceh,macam tak biasa je drive malam2). tapi seriously,kali ni rasa takut sikit. maybe sebab jalan tak pernah lalu kot. nak cari pasal ke ape!

so, bila nampak je signboard PLUS yang kaler hijau-putih (opps,terbayangkan sesuatu..haha!), saya masuk kanan. tetiba nampak signboard:

ringlet : 49km
tanah rata: 57km
brinchang: 64km

sekali lagi, what the whattt!! biar betul,ada orang sampai cameron kang malam ni. istighfar banyak2. nasib baik jalan depan sikit lagi nampak signboard hijau-putih tu sekali lagi. lega. masuk je highway,terpaksa memecut membabi buta until 150km/hr. istighfar balik. limit yourself to 140km/hr ainal. sayangi nyawa anda.huhu.

lagu yang tengah memekak tu dah tak berjaya sampai cochlea. sampai eardrum je pastu terpantul balik. gile aku merepek. ok, malas la nak exit simpang pulai,nak cepat punya pasal. nak lalu ikut tol jelapang la,aku nak tengok camne rupa divider yang bas hari tu boleh terlanggar tu. siap ada disaster alert katanya kat casualty hospital ipoh ni, yang end up HO kat situ tercongok je. owh,divider besi tu rupanya. macam mana boleh tembus bas tu,asal tak kemik je? ok,bas terlampau la tu. ok, sampai ipoh 7.30pm. kira lambat la aku hari ni sebab biasanya aku drive tak sampai 2jam kkb-ipoh. tu la kome,gatal sangat nak ikut jalan lama.

hmm, off topic jap. aku benci stalker. maybe ada gadis2 yang suka stalker ni,tapi sumpah saya sangat benci stalker. hidup jadi terganggu gile. syooohhhh!!!huu,macam nak halau ape je..haha!!

dah ainal,pegi tido. esok nak kerja. walaupun kerja agak mudah sekarang ni sampai saya naik boring.

declared bankrupt!

2009-12-29T14:38:00.007+08:00

remember this post? ok, i didn't manage to have it all this month. kalau tak, lagi berganda2 saya bankrupt. saya beli 1 benda je from the wish list and benda2 lain yang takde pun dalam wish list tu. biasa la kan,memenuhi tuntutan nafsu tu perkara yang digemari ramai, including me.

amik la ni,buat cuci mata jap.

lepas ni kena puasa beli kasut selama 2 bulan ok?tapi x boleh janji la...as usual,unpredictable...

purse ni bukan warna sebenar. it's more to biru-purple kot. maybe bagi korang tak cantik,tapi aku datang metrojaya 2 hari untuk cari purse ni,belum kira frustrated pegi the garden's and found out this purse out of stock.

kiehl's again. lipbalm ni macam best.

a Diva's ring for a bajet diva's finger. dah lama x beli accessories ni. hasil hasut-menghasut between me and my mom. dapat satu sorang.haha.

tambah la lagi dua helai tudung tapi takkan tu pun nak show off kat sini kan. ni sahaja perkara2 yang mengopakkan purse saya bulan ni. memang serius terkopak teruk.

bulan depan je la beli dkny apple pink tu. handbag takpe,ada orang mau sponsor. iphone ntah bila tahun nak dapat...dua tahun lagi kot..isk.isk.pakai jela handphone buruk ni dulu...

how i wish~

2009-12-21T21:50:00.006+08:00

shop till you drop....

1.
2.

3.4. (not this checkbook,just an example..=p)

ok, i dropped...

minus four~

2009-12-21T21:14:00.005+08:00

it was a lunch time and i was in the ward after my appointment in ortho clinic. seriously, i had nothing to do as all the ward work is settled. suddenly, my colleague Z showed up and saya tegur je la dia...

me: hey,dah lunch?
Z : dah..ko tak lunch ke ainal?
me: malas la...dah kenyang makan nasi lemak pagi tadi...
Z : ko ni...pegi la makan..aku tengok ko semakin kurus...
me: haa??yeke??happy gile...eh,mana ada dah kurus....

it was my spontaneous response...usually, i will immediate say 'no,aku tak kurus'...
tapi Z ni quite naive, so ape yang dia cakap macam boleh pakai la...

happy gile la...
tipu la if u are a girl who is not in an ideal curve,tetiba ada orang comment baik punya and you tak happy....

sumpah, i'm not slim yet!!!
yes,i'm losing kgs, but i need to lose more...
currently, -4...can i minus another 4kg??

my skincare range~

2009-11-15T00:11:00.006+08:00

i envy those who have a glowing and supple skin. alas, i have a sensitive skin. like typical girls out there, i always try giving my best to my skin. and the best doesn't mean the most expensive one right?=p

i started pampering my skin with bio-essence cleansing milk, which acts as a make-up remover. actually dah lama beli tapi ntah bila la nak habis..hihi...if i were on quite heavy make-up (heavy in my definition), i would use the eye and lip make-up remover by Loreal. best tau guna ini Loreal!!

next step, scrubbing the face using Honey and Almond Exfoliating Face Scrub by Nutrimetics. i love its smell eventho my sis doesn't like it. it smells exotic!! i started to love it when my friends and i were playing facial before final exam..hehe..

after the face being scrubbed, i cleanse my face using White Lucent range cleanser by Shiseido. love this cleanser. my face feels so soft and clean after cleansing and it has good smells too. initially, i was confused whether to choose shiseido or SKII. i just have no reason why i chose Shiseido..=).

next step is not included as the compulsory step. kalau ada stock, baru buat. nah, a mask sheet from the Skin Food. i use either the normal mask or the mask with essence, but of course the one with essence cost me more.

my not-so-soft skin need something to soften it. my solution is Brightening Refining Softener by Shiseido.i got it for free when i bought the cleanser. and also a small sample of its mosturizer but only using it during on-call. senang nak angkut...=)

my everyday mosturizer is Kiehl's Rare Earth Pore Minimizing Lotion. it smells like clay yet i love it. it doesn't make my skin oily.

like other women, i like to try new skincare too. it's fun, y'know!! i have few samples to try on. usually i got it when i buy some products over the counter or just cut free coupons from magazine. everybody likes free stuff, who doesn't?=p

a monthly or 2-monthly routine would be removing hairs at particular part of the body, heh... Nair has done o good job for me...=p

last but not least, i have a fortnightly facial treatment which consists a White Spa and RF using Celmonze....

these are mine. what's yours?

retractor and sucker!

2009-11-08T00:58:00.004+08:00

post-call...

i was on 4th call yesterday which meant for OT call. the day i wish to be as good as before, but nahh!!

after zuhur prayer, i was called to OT. the first case was laparotomy + adhesiolysis + ileostomy. before it started, i already anticipate it would be a long operation. yeah, adhesiolysis..i could smell the burning flesh and fat!!!haha...the first one finished about almost 6pm.

next, it was really an emergency OT, a 120kg guy with intra-abdominal injury due to MVA. and thank me for using all my energy to rectract your damn thick fat..haha. my first time assisting a splenectomy (a removal of spleen aka limpa). and the pool of blood in the abdomen was just fantastic!!it settled about 9+pm...

i was about to curi makan while waiting for the next case. when i just grab my baju,my phone rang. they gonna send the third case already. i stayed in OT, waiting for the patient to come. thanx to the staff nurse yang kata nak hantar patient sekarang tu, sampai aku yang kelaparan ni tak sempat nak makan. penipu betul. kalau aku makan sempat je padahal. ceh!

that was a diagnostic laparoscopic surgery. noted that the patient had perforated appendix. lama gile Dr. Arun buat surgery tu sampai aku terlelap masa pegang camera. dah penat and mengantuk gila masa tu. it only finished at 12am.

in total, i was in OT for 10hours. my goodness. penat gila, kaki macam nak patah. after changing, i went straight to the ward, terus tido. nasib baik takde sape2 kacau sampai pagi.

and today, my forearm muscles' aching after retracting for hours yesterday. sigh....eh,don't sigh!!

savings and a new netbook..~

2009-11-05T18:20:00.006+08:00

my fingers are hitting on my new fujitsu mini laptop. i just trade in my HP pavilion and take this baby away with me.

i'm on leave today. one day leave to settle the ASB loans and to settle about the laptop.

i never know about the ASB loans before. oh, i don't have any savings in ASB too. nobody enlightened me about this kind of savings before. or i just being an ignorance...hee~

after i studied for my insurance CEILLI and PCEILLI exam, only then i know that this kind of investment, which we called as a government bond investment is a low-risk investment. as far as i concern, it is guaranteed by our government.

i've signed up an RM120,000 loan for 25 years. the bank officer told me that dividend per annum would be at least 7%. tapi tak pernah lagi government bagi 7%, selalunya dalam 8-8.25%. so, at least i will get RM8400 per year + dividend from my own savings. just calculate how much i will get in the next 25 years. but my aim is to settle the loan in 20years.

ok, memang kita boleh achieve rm100k of savings in 20 years, but only then u will get that ammount of interest. so, i think x rugi pun kalau buat loan sekarang (eventhough we have to pay interest to the bank) compared to ape yang kita akan dapat in the future. it is good if you have started to think about your future now. berbaloi..berbaloi-baloi...=)

which color do you think is mine??=p

**oh ya, i hate surgery posting. pissed off with it!!

why???!

2009-10-24T20:24:00.004+08:00

tensionnya...

laptop dah rosak...macam nak humban je...apasal cepat sgt rosak???padahal aku bukan jenis yg kuat gaming pun...=(

sedih la...baru ingat nak beli phone baru,tetiba macam kene divert ke laptop pulak. baru je beli broadband, tapi x pasal2 kene bayar free je bulan ni...

SUX!!

psttt..

2009-10-14T02:11:00.004+08:00

i received a call yesterday's afternoon when i was in kiehl's. unknown number but it's not from a mobile.

'hello dr ainal. i'm auntie saras, penyelia asrama. i've got a new roomate for u. but it seems that your room is padlocked!'

Shit.

nasib baik otakku cepat berfikir.

'owh,i'm on leave. i'm at home, only back to ipoh on friday. definitely, i'm not going back to ipoh today for it.'

'ya laa,u live in kkb right, jauh.i have tried to call your neighbour but it is unanswered. what's her name?azrina?azrinaz? she's from tapah only. do you have her phone number? do u know in which department is she now?'

sumpah aku x kenal jiran aku. lalu, aku pun menambah perisa.

'haah, she's from tapah.sorry la auntie, i don't have her number (buat2 kenal la budak tu). i'm not sure in which department is she now but for sure not O&G and A&E. you try jela call other departments.'

'okay. i'll try to get her.'

selamat aku. ni la jasa padlock yg x sampai seploh ringgit tu.i don't want a housemate at the moment. i need a privacy. sebab aku dah conquer bilik tu dgn barang2 aku yg maha banyak.

7 heaven

2009-10-13T16:38:00.005+08:00

fuhh...i just finished my first posting (O&G) and will be going to next posting this Saturday...yes, it is on public holiday...my-oh-my....so, next will be surgery...

so, with 7 days hols, saya melancong ke KL ...

i never had a chance to go to Samurians' wedding. last Saturday me and fizha went to Etok and Ain's wedding. tu pun si makcik fizha ni beria2 mengajak...best woo!jumpa ramai ( la ramai mana pun) Samurians kat sana. Nasib baik ada Nadort, so saya jadi lebih peramah...=p

Monday afternoon, i made my way to KL again. saje jalan2 habiskan duit..hihi...dah janji to meet up with that adik manis, she only showed up almost 7pm...aiyoo,sempat saya buat makeover with Estee Lauder dulu....and i collected 3 samples from Clarins too..wee!!

of course i was too hungry at that time. tetiba Duet pun mau join kami makan. Oh, Duet ialah boyfriend Nadort yang cantik. so, konon2 nak makan Chili's, kitorang pun speed pegi KLCC, janji jumpa Duet kat sana.

arrrggh, Chili's KLCC CLOSED!! aiyoo, KLCC kan x banyak choice, x nak makan Chinoz or CPK, takut x kenyang...huhu...so we decided to go to Chili's Midvalley. oppss, 'ter'bump dgn Asma' dgn mak dia katKLCC..=). Dia dah kurus...standard la, houseman...=)

9pm+, we arrived in MV. Aaaarrrgghhhhh!!!!Chili's MV pun CLOSED!!! saya pun ajak dorang makan Tony Roma's la,dah x tau nak makan ape.. dah pukul 9.30 masa tu. suddenly, nampak Itallianies punya ad, tetiba gatal mulut cakap, "korang nak try Italianies x?". ok, berlari pegi Itallianies pulak. kitorang dah duduk dah, suddenly waiter dia datang cakap order dah tutup..ciss!!! berlari balik ke Tony Roma's. 1 minute to 9.45pm. thanks to Pak cik Tony sebab sanggup terima kitorang lagi...hehe..

tengah tunggu makanan, nampak Hamzi, Khalil and Chem. sempat r tegur dorang..hehe...so, me and nadort makan Moji Chicken, while Duet makan Alfredo Florentine pasta ape tah...hmm, delicious!!will step to uncle Tony's again next time..=). tapi ada nyamuk la kat situ!!

hari ni saya sambung shopping kat MV...hehe...so, hasil tangkapan bulan ni:

1) 3 bras (2 bras guna coupon Skiva)
2) Kiehl's rare earth pore minimizing lotion
3) Loreal True Match liquid foundation
4) Loreal Make-up base
5) Top from Agenda

barang free bulan ini (i love freebies):

1) Free makeover by Estee Lauder
2) Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair
3) Clarins total whitening essence, shaping facial lift and clear softening peeling
4) Kiehl's Eye Alert, overnight biological peel and ultimate strength hand salve

terasa cuti ku bermakna..hihi!!

eid mubarak and losing weight~

2009-09-25T18:52:00.007+08:00

this year i have no baju raya. specifically no baju kebaya or baju kurung. those baju for convo pun baru pakai sekali je, so those two became my baju raya. i just add on 2 blouses, an esprit jeans and my killer heels from charles&keith. also two selendang beli kat jalan TAR. that'a all for me this year.bukan dapat cuti panjang pun, so kisah ape dgn baju raya...

first day of raya:

i'm the tallest of all (gedikz mode!)=p

beloved umi

beloved wan

raya dgn kucing. they all makan RC on hari raya..hehe!!

second day raya:

before off to kl. i think i look better with this style of tudung. x selekeh macam masa convo tu..

oh, ya...i'm losing weight currently. now my weight is 51kg...tolak baju,kasut and segala2 on my body at that time,perhaps tinggal 50.5kg...lalala~

mana taknya, i worked like orang gile last month. 10 on-calls last month ok..haihh~
the best part, my neighbours and relatives noticed it, and even my specialist...haha!!!

i muat balik my baju and jeans masa first year dulu. elok lagi because masa tu baru beli baju and suddenly i gained weight macam kena pam...

i aim 46-48 kg..i wanna buy the gym ball since i have no time to go jogging or to the gym...wanna buy blender also to continue back my herbalife. ok tak??saya kembali bersemangat...yeah!!

sadly, i must work hard as my cholesterol level is not good. i hate to see the LDL-C figure!!cholesterol jahat!!!

officially graduated...

2009-09-25T18:29:00.004+08:00

it has been more than a month since i graduated from my alma mater..
i don't have the 'energy' to upload these pics..malas and takde masa = malas cari masa..

here it goes...

graduation @ HUKM....ignore the selekeh tudung. i was running out of time masa tu..

before masuk DECTAR...mortar board to susah gile nak stay on the head. kena pin sana sini...

post graduation

one family

paralysed!

2009-08-29T12:48:00.002+08:00

i really want to update my blog...i have stories to tell...about my convo, about my work, about calls, about life about everything...but these fingers are so lazy to hit the keyboard.

will update soon..

soon?x boleh percaya punya...huh!

conquering the 3-storeys maternity block is NO FUN!!!

2009-08-09T13:55:00.005+08:00

currently, our department is short of housemen. which makes us need to on call EOD (each other day). my turn is on thursday-saturday-monday. with no PM off...

so, i worked from 6.45am (thursday) till 6pm (friday) and go to work again 6.45am (saturday) till 11.30am (sunday). and tomorrow perhaps going in again 6.45am and only go back home possibly at 6pm. a simple maths will do....

great!!!i'm really tired...
yesterday was the first time i was on call in maternity block. yes, me ALONE. alone in a 3-storeys maternity block. i need to cover the 2nd/3rd class wards, 1st class ward, high risk ward and high dependency ward. i never stopped working from day to 12midnight.

i hold my urine, i dont bother bout my thirst, i don't care about my food, i have no time to think about myself. until the nurse told me that i looked pale and she asked me to rest for a while. thanx for that but i just have no time to rest. every floor was calling for me. i feel like going crazy!!!

it was in the evening when my specialist saw my sulky face...he asked me why?
i told him that i haven't trace my eclamptic patient's investigation, i have yet to clerk 3 new patients, which i have settled only 2....suddenly, mata pun bergenang...stress sgt!!!cepat2 i looked down, xnak bagi dia nampak...malu!!

luckily nobody kacau me last nite...dapat la rest dgn aman sket!!

***crazy little thing i've done this week

i've sign-up for a facial treatment by celmonze...habis duit aku...RM1888...12x treatment for 6 months...haihh....
harap2 jadi cantik pasni...perasan!!!post call syndrome-merapu....

it's gaji time!!!

2009-07-23T19:30:00.005+08:00

yeay!!!

alhamdulillah, i have received my first salary officially. after all the hard work...
x banyak mana pun, tapi boleh la untuk bagi family sket2 and for my survival and for future.
setakat ni, i haven't use it. i want to give to my parents and family first.

and to langsaikan some hutangs...ngeh!

boleh buat wish list x pasni?hihi....=p

captivity of negativity~

2009-07-19T14:50:00.005+08:00

being a houseman puts you at the lowest form of life. some people said that and lots of people agree. but i don't.

i say, being a houseman puts you as important as a VVIP.

eventhough we don't settle the case, we are the one who settles the minute minor little things for our senior colleague. just imagine, who will take the patient's blood, who fill in the investigations forms, who sets the lines, who settles the admission clerking, who are the runner, who gonna sit down ~15-20mins giving the cocktail or MgSO4, who do this, who do that......

it appears like a magnet when i'm pulled to my dear prof's note about houseman. although he is a assoc prof now, he never forget who he was. A prof, a colleague, a senior who is full of empathy. he's the best!

i just wonder why a senior colleague who is just an MO/registrar being so arrogant and full of hatred. you act like you are so great, scolding and shouting to housemen like we aren't human. you want us to respect you but you just make us scared of you. truly said, i don't respect these kind of people. you won't gain anything!

you guys want us to be as thorough as you do. it needs EXPERIENCES. and to get the experience, it takes TIME. it's just that you are born earlier than us. again, it's about TIME.

period!

heavenly lazy!

2009-07-18T20:03:00.006+08:00

i'm home this weekend. so heaven!!! i can forgot about my job for 4 days. yup, i take 4 days leave. 4 days are damn precious, because i have worked for 1 month without a leave even a single day. It's time to laze and zzzzzzz.....

balik rumah, saya mesti main dengan kucing saya. i got my Kira and her 4 kittens. the very cheeky and naughty kittens. i slept outside on the first night i'm home. saje je because my mom told me those kitties will bites and playing around us at dawn. so they are. they tried to bite me tapi padan muka tak dapat coz i'm using a comforter. hehe...tapi, they pee on the comforter...GGRRRRRR!!!!!sakit betul hati aku....

actually i want to watch HP today but then kene cancel. i brought my grandma to ampang puteri instead to visit her sister who had undergone cholecystectomy (removal of gallbladder). and saya sempat menjamu secret recipe cakes as my cousin had her so-called birthday party there..makan again to gain weight. duh!

daaa....i NEED to lazing around. kejar masa nih..

**oh, ya...i plan to do my MRCP next year. boleh ke kalau asyik malas2 camni?huuu....

great experiences...thanx babies!!

2009-07-10T18:57:00.006+08:00

despite a hardwork this week, i faced a few interesting cases which i only learned from textbook before this.

first, it's an anencephaly case. senang paham, it's a fetus without a skull and the brain tissue is not complete. the baby won't survive ex-utero. at that moment, i was helping the staff nurse conduct case the next bed, pastu patient bed sebelah tiba2 cakap....

'doktor, saya rasa mcm nak teran...'

then i dengan selambanya pergi la kat katil dia untuk check. bila selak kain dia je, 'something' hampir2 bulging out from the perineum...OMG!!!

'kak!!kejap2...jgn push lagi...saya pegi amik delivery set dulu...'

i hurried to next door to look for the delivery set. rupanya baby tu breech presentation. i never conducted a breech. i only learned on a manequin when i was in HUKM.

nasib baik sebab this is a case of termination of pregnancy. she was just a 25 weeker. dengan jayanya saya conduct delivery tu sorang2...first time i saw an anencephaly..the feeling is so great!!!

second, today i witness a twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. initially, they ask me to conduct that delivery too. we have called the specialist but he never showed up. the membrane was so bulging but i afraid to break it. takut baby x boleh survive. the patient was then suddenly pushing until the membrane bulged out from the perineum...and suddenly, it....

POP!!!!!

ya, saya bermandikan liqour aka air ketuban hari ni. liqour patient ni sgt banyak,mengalir mcm sungai...

i was then gave my MO to conduct that case. it's damn cool if i have the chance to conduct such case. the first twin is 750grams and resuscitated by paeds and he expired in NICU. the 2nd twin had already expired for a few days. kesian sgt dgn patient tu...both twins expired...=(

i feel great when i learned and experienced new things in life!!

** the best part is...i have watched TRANSFORMERS!!!!mula2 nak tengok sorang lagi (sure dhiya boleh kesian lagi kat aku)...but then i watched it with Joanne!!!yeay!!berdua lebih baik..hihi!!

Tru (on)calling...

2009-07-04T19:49:00.005+08:00

have you ever watch tv series Tru Calling? It's about a young lady who is trying to become a doctor, end up working in a morgue. then, voices of dead people uttering to her calling for help.

i'm not here to elaborate the detail of Tru Calling, anyway.

yesterday was my first on call. i had a blast!! initially, it was so heaven. just one admission one night. eventhough the labour suite was full, we could still manage it well. oh, ya...mind you, there were 4 of us on call in labour room.

i had less than 2 hours sleep last nite. i couldn't sleep because i just had a black nescafe before that. Deborah woke me up at 3.18am. ok la, x kisah pun actually. after that, i just review patients who need to be reviewed. until 4.45am, my friend came in. for god's sake, aku benci dia lepas ni!!it's not that i'm complaining about the patient she brought in, but she was like bullying me!!!

dia masuk2 labour room and said to me...

'ainal, u clerk this case in 15-20 minutes, then go and tell Dr. Ju, get a consent, set the line, get the blood!!! the patient has 3 previous scar and in labour...i want to go and clerk patient in front...'

damn!!bloody hell!!! aku x marah patient, i'm mad at my colleague...aku tau la aku baru,xyah nak buli aku sampai macam tu. ko yang dah senior tu bodoh ke hape x reti nak bezakan emergency and non-emergency case!! it's not a job of one person to settle all that sorang2..

furthermore, susah sgt nak dapat line patient tu. i tried twice baru dapat. vein sume halus and x timbul je. blood pun susah nak amik. when i run in front and ask her to help me, she just happily replied,

'this is on call life...never mind, u just go and wake up lavanyah..'

damn you!! i don't think about myself at that time. patient is more important. kesian lavanyah, i have to wake her up padahal baru 1/2 an hour dia tido.

the CTG of the patient showed fetal distress. hari ni saya masuk OT at 5.00 am to assist the Caesarrean section. gila mengantuk!! dah la patient tu ada severe adhesion. the whole abdominal wall is plastered together. this made the surgery more difficult. and more suprise came, she had an abruptio placenta. meaning, placenta tercabut from uterus, which lead to fetal distress that i mentioned just now. and the baby is premature ok??nasib baik dua2 selamat.

i just went out from OT 5 minutes before 7am, to have my Subuh prayer. i passed her on the way to surau. and she asked me dramatically,

'ainal, are u ok?i'm stressss!!!!'

and i just replied dgn muka x de perasaan...'i pun stress.'

(dalam hati...'aku lagi stress dgn ko, bodoh!')

and like usual, post call sydrome begins...

i filled the burial permit wrongly, i salah isi gravida and parity patient....huuu...=(
no worries, i am treating my self every weekend with yummylicious food...last week, i had a blast of tomyam in Johnny's...just now i had sakana black pepper in sushi king!! mind u, makan sorang2...kesian!

Off tag...

2009-07-01T18:41:00.005+08:00

*i have nothing to tell but all about my job*

woohooo!!!!

at last, after 2 weeks.....i off tag!!
so, today i go back at 5.35pm..

it was quite serene in the morning. sempat la nak makan jap. but then suddenly tsunami melanda in the afternoon. OMG!!! too many patients referred to us for premature labour. kena cari ventilator la, masuk line la...and at the same time, few patients in labour kene sent for emergency Caesarrean. memang kecoh gile tadi. dengan specialist yg buat hal lagi...huh!!

even penat, i'm glad that i don't feel too tired right now. not like last night, where i need to do perineal repair lepas MO conduct the deliveries. dah la the tear quite bad..sakit pinggang woo menjahit banyak2...

malam ni saya mau tido. i will start my first call on this friday. need to prepare myself physically and mentally....aahhh!!

yeay!!!it's PM off....~

2009-06-28T12:03:00.004+08:00

i've been tagging for almost 2 weeks in labour room. i went in at about 6.30 or 6.40am and only went back to my room at 12am to 1am. my working hour more or less hrmmm...18 hours!!! rest for few minutes for my prayer, eat for about 10-15 mins....

what did i do for sooooo long?

- early in the morning, i need to review patients in labour suite and VE room.
- i follow ward rounds.
- i conduct deliveries, which is so damn tired. i felt like i'm in labour. macam nak patah pinggang.
- i review patient's contraction and did the vaginal examination (VE).
- i check the blood products.
- i check the neonates.
- i review the CTGs
- i ran to NICU to trace investigation results
- i book the ventilators if i need to do so for prematures in labour. this is so boring. need to call about berbelas2 NICU kat Malaysia ni to find the ventilators.
- i will assist the Caesarrean section tomorrow. i just assisted once.
- i clerk patients and present them to my MOs.....

.....and the lists go on and on because patients never stop coming in the labour room. it's the time for the babies to see the world.

at times, i really miss my student life. i can lepak, i have time to go shopping, to watch movies. my sleeping time is marvellous. hmm, it's just...the real life begins...

now i have no time even for myself. i feel like living in a cave. i don't even know jacko has died. just knew about it yesterday. teruknya!!!~

sangat bersyukur because i only work half day today as i worked full day last weekend. i really overslept yesterday. i slept from 3pm-5.30am. haha! can imagine that??

i will off tagging this tuesday and will start my call on friday in labour room. hopefully nobody will be a jonah that day....

my sad, sad stories....i'm a survivor!!

2009-06-16T18:35:00.005+08:00

i didn't update my blog for more or less a month...
which means i'm away from what we called INTERNET!

what happened to me?
one after one 'tragedies' occured...
is it a test for me or am i just a jonah?

BTN Pontian

nothing much happened, just my sport shoes' sole terkopak during the jungle trekking. i could still bear it, as it did not cause much trouble for me.

Kursus Induksi, Klang

1. the bad lucks started. after few days in klang, saya puasa ganti. petang tu me and aida went to Johnny's in Bukit Raja to break the fast. on the way back, ada road block and saya kena tahan. punya la menggeletar time tu. first time kena detained. initially, dia nak saman cause saya langgar traffic light (sebab ikot kereta depan, damn fool!). saya mintak ringankan sikit punishment. after discussing with their friends, he asked money from me. i tak fikir panjang, terus bagi RM20. separuh jalan baru teringat, 'Ya Allah...RASUAH!!!'...sedih sgt. nasib baik esoknya tu tanya tanya penceramah and he said that i was teraniaya. lega sikit. saya x kan maafkan polis2 tu. tak malu, bagi makan anak bini duit haram!!! damn you guys!!!

2. i was initially posted in Kuching, but terpaksa dan dipaksa untuk appeal and now here i am in Hospital Ipoh. it caused a real blast of tsunami between us. only HE knows berapa banyak air mata tumpah pasal benda ni. malas nak cerita detail.

3. i went back home on thursday. reach home already at 12pm then realized i left my dobi in klang...oh, my goodness!!! i rushed back to klang at 2.30pm and after that speed to Cheras to service my car. i reached home at 9.30pm and the next day i need to lapor diri to Ipoh. gila la!!! penat sangat. and sume benda2 di atas, saya kene drive sendiri...sedih!!!

Ipoh

1. i took me 2 1/2 hrs to reach Ipoh. first time being in Ipoh made me sick!! saya kena lalu pekan lama untuk sampai ke Jabatan Kesihatan Negeri. sesat2 sampai saya rasa sangat serabut. mana lagi dgn masalah tsunami yg x settle2. after register in JKN, i need to find the hospital pulak. i ended up that afternoon dengan ACCIDENT ok!! i admit my fault because i was busy looking for signboard to hospital. habis bumper sume, pintu driver pun x boleh bukak until now.

2. at last, jumpa hospital and i register at 3pm. petang tu i broke into tears. mana taknya, one after another. and i'm all alone in Ipoh. tak kenal siapa2. kat hostel takde tv and my laptop broke down since kat Pontian lagi.

3. and now, cost untuk betulkan my car estimated about RM3500....Ya Allah!!stressnya.....dah la baru nak start kerja. i think i will go to ketuk the pintu first. yang bumper tu tunggu la banyak duit sikit. my car looks cacat but i have no choice.

4. the stress won't end. esok i will start my O&G rotation for at least 4 months. i'm a survivor until now!! there's no way i should surrender to the stress given by the o&g people..

far away~

2009-05-24T17:47:00.004+08:00

I'm off to Pontian tomorrow for a week and straight to Klang for induksi for 2 weeks. I'm driving there, thus i think i'll leave at 6.40am. i want to be there early so that i can have some rest as the programmes will start after 5pm.

And after that, supposedly there will be no leave as we shall start working. it's just...'oh-my-GOD!!!'...it's tiring!

praying for a safe journey, as this is my first time long-distance-driving!

michael scofield - rest in peace!

2009-05-23T01:15:00.004+08:00

i cried when i watched the finale of PRISON BREAK
sedih during gathering of the members at michael's tomb. and michael jr.'s eyes are wet and merah macam baru lepas nangis.

The super amazing tv series i ever watched since the first season.

After all, it's about the power of mind, love, friendship and loyalty.
the power of love of michael-sara!

it's kicking!!!

2009-05-17T22:56:00.004+08:00

i rest my curiosity...

i could feel it with my palm last night.
at first it is like a Braxton-Hicks contraction.
then i could feel something kicking my palm.
owh, when is it going to pop out?

most probably it will do so during my BTN-induction course.
uhh, i won't have the chance to tape it...too bad!

Kira is going to be a mom very soon!!!yeah....
si manja saya yang comel...
saya sayang Kira!!!

a hectic life prior a hectic-est life~

2009-05-16T23:59:00.005+08:00

i am going to work very soon. BTN camp will start in less than 10days, which will be from 25-29th May, and continue with induction course until 11th June. And on the next day, dah kena lapor diri..it's just 'OMG!!'..kejam gile!!penat2 kursus terus kena kerja...

so, this week has been a busy work...

1. trying to finish the last piece of the blouse at kelas menjahit. it is a purple tunic blouse from a silk satin yang maha susah untuk dijahit. furthermore, it has 'zip sembunyi' which is very difficult to sew on. dah nak siap but then 'ter'kecik part dada. it's not the boobs that getting bigger ok?!hehe... x sempat nak belajar jahit gown for kids...isk..isk...

2. i am studying for my PCEIA and CEILI exam. i am going to be a part time MCIS Zurich insurance agent, insyaAllah. huh, not my field, so susah la sket nak paham. bila susah nak paham, lembab la jadinya..huh! the exam will be on this wednesday...~

3. trying to finish off the beadwork for the kebaya biru untuk convo. hopefully sempat la siap.

4. doing the medical check-up prior working. initially, quite worried as the urine for drugs needs 2 weeks to settle. but then, with help from the staffs which are my neighbour, my friend's mum and a staff nurse that know me during my elective course, it settled on the spot. Alhamdulillah.
(bump on Dr. Rafidi..he'll be further his study in Master of Anaes....wow!!)

5. need to prepare my mental for work. i just read one topic...Acute Coronary Syndrome! DAMN!!

6. need to go to pesuruhjaya sumpah to settle the surat akuan sumpah.

7. i haven't pay the convo fee (RM110) and email muka comel ini. also need to pay RM45 for Wifi fee...bengong!dulu kata free,tiba2 kene bayar...sengal betul baru nak bagitau sekarang...huh~

8. to spend time with family as i am going to the courses and work and they will be going for a vacation to Phuket. time aku induksi pulak tu..jeles!

9. going to Shah Alam on Monday to look for black long skirt for BTN

10. last dating next friday. last, before start kerja, kerja, kerja!!

11. i need to puasa ganti 6 hari lagi..huu,mati la aku. x nak puasa bila dah start kerja. memang akan mati!!

ni je kot setakat ni....

first car~

2009-05-13T23:47:00.004+08:00

finally, it was released at 12.30pm today.
like my lil bro said...'along ni makan tak lalu, mandi tak basah, tidur tak lena'...
wey, mana ada!!!aku bersabar tau....

so, here it is....

introducing..................

thanx to my parents for the sponsors...hihi...
at first, i don't want to use their money at all. i feel like i will appreciate it more if i use my money solely. tapi, rezeki jangan ditolak. hihi...

days for supermommies!!!~

2009-05-10T00:40:00.007+08:00

happy mothers' day to my ummi.
you are a supermum!!
and all supermommies in the world!!

as for me, the most memorable mother's day was celebrated when i was 9 years old.
i bet, that's for my mom too....
priceless!!

let's the pictures say the words...

all time favourite photo album

Berita Minggu

NST

Harian Metro

Jelita/Wanita (not so sure)

**edited---> as reminded by NINA...

Ibu
Ibarat sebutir permata
Bercahaya berkemilau menerangi hidupku
Ibarat kesturi
Harummu mewangi sepanjang hari
Ibarat lautan
Kasihmu tak pernah susut
Ibarat ombak memukul pantai
Pengorbananmu tidak mengenal erti jemu

Kasihmu, kasihku
Ibarat simpul mati
Tak mungkin terurai

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY UMMI!!!- PUAN HAJAH NORAINI ABDULLAH

shut up!

2009-05-09T13:18:00.006+08:00

pheewww!!

hot issues in Malaysia currently:

DOCTORS vs RUDE PUBLICS (including Mr. Minister S)

it's true as the saying goes 'bagai anjing menyalak bukit'. bukit tak terjejas, anjing je penat sampai xde suara...

explain la sebanyak mana pun, our publics will never understand. will never unless one of their family member is a doctor.

so, if you are human, we are human too...who also need rest, sleep, makan, minum walaupun sedetik. takkan la tu pun public nak berkira.

ntah la, rakyat Malaysia terlau zalim. we are slaves. kenapa tidak? ada mana2 pihak nak defend kitorang selain dari diri sendiri? bila doktor bersuara,kata kitorang x bersyukur, x nak balas jasa rakyat Malaysia dah sponsor belajar (income tax) etc....bila diam,kepala kena pijak.

* hey, talking about paying the tax, our parents and families also paying tax. it is not really a big deal here.

we still need to smile right?

enuff said.

talking about myself, dulu aku memang nak serve kat government. but then, bila jadi macam ni, i start to change my mind. dah alang2 public nak kata doktor keje pentingkan duit, yes! i will try my best to achieve specialist level so that i can work in private. i can treat my patients, and at the same time i gain money.

or i will migrate. it is better to treat a drunken man yang pandai say 'thank you'. it seems ramai malaysian dah lupa existence of 'terima kasih'.

shut up! if you have no idea of what we are doing!

for that, i THANK YOU.

kisah mee hoon celup~

2009-05-04T13:24:00.006+08:00

i am so craving to mee hoon celup since last week tapi malas nak singgah kedai tu. so, today on the way back home i stopped by. it was about 12.35pm. obviously orang kerja office hour belum break and just 1 table is occupied by customer at that time.

i just tapau the mee hoo celup and it costs me RM3.50. standard la kan. so i gave RM5, so you know how much the change is. it's not the balance that matters, it's the attitude of the sengal siamese girl. after i gave her the money, she brought the money to the back (not the counter) for quite sometimes. then, that stupid girl came out straight to the meja makan and sambung makan. lepas tu baru la a lil boy keluar pergi kaunter tapi dia pun blur. so, i'm keep waiting for the balance.

lama sikit, then baru la budak pompuan tu terhegeh2 datang bagi balance kat aku. for sure la time tu my temperature rising up. terpaksa sound dia sebab bengang sangat.

"lain kali kalau customer datang, layan la dulu. ni sibuk nak makan!!"

tapi budak pompuan siam tu seemed so blur nak mamp**!!!
sampai 2x aku kene ulang ayat yang sama...huh!!!

dah dua kali aku datang restoran tu and pekerjanya dok asyik nak mencekik.
xde keje lain ke wei!!!

if any of you tersinggah kat kuala kubu bharu, sila jangan datang restoran gamelan!!

i should (not) start reading~

2009-05-01T13:37:00.004+08:00

i am going to work soon.
Don't know how soon is soon.
and i haven't start my revision, at all.
mind you, few weeks before being the-real-kuli-batak, i need to go for kursus induksi and BTN (perhaps).
it is 2 weeks + 1 week, they say.
and both got exams.
i don't know and i don't even care.

the matter is i haven't start revising those medical and O&G discipline yet.
but if i were getting paeds first, hrmm susah jugak...
kalau emergency medicine first, memang agak mampus lerrr....
haihh~

it's not easy to open the right book when the hypothalamus and pituitary is supressed.

**and my back is killing me!!!it's aching~

attire for convo...i need help~

2009-04-22T18:06:00.009+08:00

I am now thinking what should i wear during my convocation day. Lots of my friends have bought their clothes. Of course the feeling of menggedik nak cari kain jugak arise within me.

Hmm, i will have 2 days of convocation. The first one of course the real convocation which will be held in UKM Bangi. The other one will be held one day before (usually) in UKMMC Auditorium.

I think i would like to wear batik during the real big day. Sooo Malaysian, huh? I don't know why i choose batik, but somehow it looks artistic and elegant on a formal event. I have browsing some website to look for the designs. About colours, i really can't say because sometimes i decided to find certain colour but i ended up buying other colour. But, i can never go wrong with black or white, right?

Here are certain designs that i'm quite interested with. Dear readers, hope you guys can tell me which design should i choose. Leave your comment, pretty pleassseee....I really appreciate your ideas.

for the day in UKMMC, firstly i'm thinking of thai silk, either baby blue or dark purple. but then, somehow i bump into a picture that shows chiffon single colour with tones. which one should i buy??=(...xjumpa plak gambar...

so, please give your ideas k...

stye~

2009-04-17T00:32:00.005+08:00

i wore my Avon black kohl eyeliner today.
before taking bath, i wipe it out using the cotton bud with bio-essence cleansing milk,which is suitable for eyes also.
it's my routine whenever i need to remove the eyeliner.
i threw my contact lens into the waste-paper-basket.

somehow, i realized that i rubbed my left eye too much tonight because it's damn itchy.
and i started to feel the throbbing ache everytime i blink my eyes.
after hours rubbing and blinking my eyes, i looked myself into the mirror...
sheeeeshh...a stye on my left eyes.
menyusahkan and memalukan betulla...

***ni la balasannya tengok Kira kencing/berak...(Kira ialah seekor kucing ? bunting)

you want to get tanned too?

2009-04-13T14:18:00.006+08:00

She caught a big lizard today. when i say big, i mean it. It's not the usual type of lizard that we always see. It's some kind of blackish, rough back lizard. Memang geli la. She never eats lizards, just playing with that creature until benda tu jadi lembik.

And it is so disgusting to hold Kira after that.

'Kira, jom mandi!!'

Sebab sakit hati, aku mandikan dia dgn air sejuk je. Sental2 badan dia dgn sabun. Maaf, tak boleh tunjuk gambar Kira mandi sebab dia mandi bogel. Hehe...

After that, drying and tanning session.

as white as..~

2009-04-13T00:04:00.009+08:00

test drive means i just passed with flying colours from the driving school. (Heh, aku tipu!!!)

I had my test drive today. The seller came over and i had it here, at my house. Best woo bawak kereta tu.

Kereta ape??

Heh, biarlah rahsia....(for some people)
Jangan nak kecoh2 kat sini ok...
I will update soon...

ngigau!!!

2009-04-10T22:12:00.003+08:00

this happens few minutes ago.

i was chit-chatting with my mum while online and watching eagle eye on the tv. my lil bro stay stupor on the sofa. maybe he is so tired, kononnya penat sports day siang tadi la tu.

suddenly, he woke up. mumbled something to me and and showed his hand to me (gaya orang buat 'chup, coca-cola'...

apa yang aku boleh paham, dia kata 'nah,amik ni'. i thought he is giving something tiny to me. aku pun amik la. rupanya NOTHING!! pastu dia tido balik.

hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!aku bantai gelak sampai berair mata and tercungap2 tak cukup nafas.

Kelas Menjahit (ver. 1)

2009-04-08T00:22:00.005+08:00

Baking cakes and pastries are not my passion.
It's my mom's and my sis's.
I love sewing.
Why? Sebab tak bersepah and tak kotor
But, i never learn how to make a baju
Walaupun a simple baju kurung.

I only can sew simple types of jahitan, like jahitan jelujur (tutup mata pun boleh buat), kia, sembat (yg buruk dan kasar), silang pangkah, jahit butang (haha!!).
And i love doing artworks like beadings and cross-stitch...
I have done beadings for 7 baju kurung + kebaya...
These are the only arts that i know.
No more, no less...
Sedih kan, padahal saya nak belajar mengait, smocking etc...

And yesterday, i've started my kelas jahitan in batang kali.
First, salin nota.
Then, lukis dasar atas brown paper.
Next, potong kertas dasar.
After that, fold the kain (yang licin itu--->saya silap pilih kain) into two, which is susah gile and pinned the kertas dasar on top of it.
Lepas itu, cut the kain. susahnya!! the way i held the scissors like tak pernah menggunting kain. Tension and sakit hati dengan diri sendiri...

to be continued....